Not An Ordinary Day
by vickyxo.xo
Summary: It was an ordinary day. Clary would have agreed, along with many other students at Herondale High. Until the sounds of cries, shouts and three shots from a gun, rung through the halls. And then, it wasn t such an ordinary day after all.
1. Chapter 1

It started off as a normal day at Herondale High. Kids gathered at their lockers, the girls talking about boys and make up, while the boys talk about sports and girls.

The cheerleaders are gathered around the foot-ball players, twirling their hairs trying to seem sexy and flirty hoping one of the jocks would fall in love with them. Their considered the 'Popular Clique', the 'Bullies' of the school. They don't tolerate someone trying to show them up, trying to prove their better, and they definitely don't tolerate nerds, the lower class, as you wish.

They push them in lockers, throw them in garbage cans. Sometimes they'll go as far as beat up the poor kid until he's crying mommy, and runs all the way home.

Their all viscous, only caring about their kind. I guess you could say, Herondale High was a typical high school, just like any other. We had the Jocks, the Cheerleaders, the Sluts, the Wannabee's, the Nerds, the Emo's and Goths, then they're were the kids who kept to themselves, the Loners.

Yes, today was just an ordinary day at Herondale High.

My names Clary, full name Clarissa Fairchild, but I preferred to be called Clary for short.

You might be wondering what category of stereotype I fall under, and that is the Loners I guess you should say. I only have one friend Simon, but he falls under the category of Nerds. He's great, we grew up together since kindergarten and so on. He's your typical nerd, he enjoys comic books, video games, envies the super heroes, just your typical American nerd. Now me, I can't really call me a loner, but I don't talk to anyone besides Simon. He is my best friend obviously.

But I do spend most my day sketching, day dreaming, praying that I graduate from this hell high and make a difference in the world. Yes, I have big expectation's for a girl only in grade eleven.

But enough about me, I probably look like a creep starring at everyone telling you all of this. Oh, crap yupe. Izzy noticed. She's a cheerleader, 'the Cheerleader'. She's the captain, sister of Alec Lightwood, and adopted sister of the school heart breaker, and quarter back on the foot-ball team, Jace Wayland.

"What are you looking at Fairchild?" Izzy screams across the hall to me, with a sneer on her face, as everyone turns to face me. I just look down embarrassed, slightly blushing at being caught.

"She's so weird." one of Izzy's posy whisper, but loud enough for me to hear. Oh yes, it's Danielle, why am I not surprised.

I then felt a arm wrap around my shoulder, pulling me closer to them, and I knew who it was once the familiar smell of axe fills my nose.

"Don't listen to the, they're all just air heads." Simon said, steering me away from the cheerleaders who were now being surrounded by the foot-ball players.

We walked to his locker, which sadly was just a little down the hall from where we were just standing, the laughter of said 'air heads' filling the halls.

"You should have came to the movies with the guys and I. It was a really good movie." Simon said, while gathering his books from his lockers.

"And what movie might that be, Legally Blond?" I joked, earning a push from him.

"One time, and I'm mocked about it forever." he mumbled, rolling his eyes while pushing his glasses up his nose before they fell off his face.

"And for your information we went to go see Resident Evil." he added, closing his locker, then leaning against it smirking down at me.

"I hate those kind of movies." I said wrinkling my nose.

"I know, but I thought going out would be much more exciting then sitting home alone, drawing." he said with a smirk. Just as the halls filled with even louder laughter, and a small thump as someone hit the ground.

I turned around just in time to see Aline Penhallow, the school's biggest nerd on the ground, with her book everywhere trying to pick them up as the kids kicked it around taunting her.

"Look where your going Smelly Ally." one of the cheerleaders sneered. Oh yea, I forgot to add that Aline kind of had a bad odder problem, but that was only because she was allergic to the deodorant or something like that, and when it touches her skin she breaks out into these gross hives and has to go to the hospital.

"Sorry." I heard Aline mumble while picking up one of her books that she managed to catch, but then it was quickly knocked out of her hand by Sebastian, Jace's best friend.

"God, what's that awful smell!" Jace said, as I noticed him for the first time standing there. Everyone in the hall laughed as Izzy took out a bottle of lemonade.

"Here, this should help." she said while dumping said lemonade on Aline's head. I watched as she closed her eyes as the liquid ran down her face, taking it all in.

She seemed to be shaking, and breathing in and out heavily. She must had been angry, I know I would have. Her eyes then connected with mine, sending a chill down my spine as I looked into her blood-shot eyes. Tears ran down her face, a look of betrayal on her face as she got up as fast as she could, then ran in the opposite direction of Simon and I, the sound of doors slamming open, and the mocking laughter of every student in the school.

"I feel sorry for her." I found myself saying, as I watched Simon shrug his shoulders.

"It happens to all of us. Her a little more. High school is like a jungle, we all have to find a way to survive and staying away from the popular clique's is a way to not end up like Aline." he said with a sad smile.

"I know, but I can't help but feel the need to help the girl." I said sadly, looking down the hall of where Aline had ran.

"We all feel sorry for whoever gets picked on, but it's the way of high school." he stated.

"Now I have to get to class. See you at lunch." he said, walking away leaving me at his locker by myself.

Yes, school was torture. Now you see why I want to get out of here as soon as possible.

I pulled my books closer to me, when I realized I had to walk past the jocks because my class was just down that hall.

I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer (hash just kidding), and then made my way down the hall.

I tried my best not to look at them, and just look forward at my door. I could see it and I was almost there, until someone blocked my way and had me walk right into them. Into their muscular chest.

"Shit." I mumbled, staggering back a little from the impact.

"Watch where your going." I heard that angelic voice every girl in the damn school flaunted over. Jace Wayland.

I just rolled my eyes at him trying to pass him, mumbling something like, 'stupid popular jocks, always think their the top of the world.'

When I felt someone grab my wrist and pull me back. I then noticed it was Izzy and her crew, Jace was against the locker watching.

"Say your sorry Fairchild." she sneered, her grasp tightening around my tiny wrist cutting off the circulation.

"For what!" I shouted, okay maybe I should have just apologized and then be on my way, but hey, I just say whatever is on my mind, especially if I'm angry.

"You know why, for walking into Jace." she said, pulling me so that I was in front of him. He crossed his arms, giving me a smirk. The same smirk that I dream about every night. No! Bad Clary, we talked about this how many times. He. Is. The. Enemy. No looking at him like you wanna rip his clothes off. Even though you dream about that too. Ugh!

"We're waiting!" Danielle snapped, pulling me out of the little rant in my head. His smirk grew wider, that little cocky ass.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. It looked like he was going to say something until my big mouth decided not to hold back and I just let loose.

"I'm sorry that your fat ass was in my way, and I walked right into you!" I shouted, he looked at me shock, before I felt a sting at the side of my face. When I looked up Izzy was now standing in front of me, shooting daggers at me.

"You little bitch!" she shouted.

"Oh please, you all are pathetic you know that. Picking on people, just because you think your better then everyone." I spat. Really wishing that I stopped, or that Simon was here to stop me.

"Who the hell do you think you are! You obviously don't know who your talking too." Danielle said, standing beside Izzy. I looked past them and noticed Jace starring. I wanted to hit all of them, but knowing a 5'2 girl could never compare to 5'11 girls, and 6'3 guys. I was pretty much doomed if I tried to hit back. Before I could say anything Izzy took a step forward his face close to mine.

"I can make your life a living hell Fairchild. I could make you then new Aline. Would you like that? Would you like it if someone dumped their drinks all over you, and pushed you around, because I can make that happen. So don't test me." she said murderously. Now, this was the time where I held my tongue and bit down making sure I didn't say anything.

Then when I knew I wouldn't, I looked at Jace shooting him daggers.

"I'm sorry." I said harshly.

Whoever was holding my wrists let go, the tingly feel setting in after getting my circulation back, I then turned around and walked off to class, pissed off.

I walked into class, no one paying any attention like always. I took my spot at the back of the class by the window, pulling out my sketch book, thinking of something to draw.

"You know, you shouldn't talk back to Izzy and her posy if you knew what was best for you." I heard a familiar voice say.

"I can do what I want." I snapped facing Jace. He had his smirk on his face, as I leaned onto one of his hands as he faced me.

"I see that." he mused. I scoffed and turned towards the window.

"You have balls Fairchild." I heard him chuckled, turning to see him leaning into his chair.

"I have a voice. I just choose to use mine." I said, looking at him. He was looking at me too, which was weird because he never used to pay much attention to me, unless Izzy and her friends were shouting at me. Or Sebastian was making one of his Sexual jokes towards me.

He opened his mouth to say something before the teacher walked in, shouting something about getting our books out and answering the following questions.

I just rolled my eyes and focused on my sketch book.

20 minutes into class, I felt someone nudge me, causing me to look up from my drawing.

"What you drawing?" Jace asked, trying to see what was under my arms.

"Non of your business." I said, putting my head on my arm blocking his view completely.

I then felt a cool light feeling on my arm and noticed it was a piece of paper.

**What are you drawing? - J**

I rolled my eyes before writing back.

**I told you, I'm not telling. - C**

I heard a light chuckle from beside me as Jace read the note.

**Are you drawing naked pictures of my Fairchild? - J**

I'm pretty sure my jaw was touching my desk, I then looked at Jace glaring at him.

"Your kidding right!" I said out loud.

"Mrs. Fairchild be quiet in my class or you will have to go to the principals office." the teacher shouted at my outburst. I looked down at the table, closing my sketch book and putting it in my bag mumbling a quick sorry.

I also heard Jace chuckle beside me, which made me quite angry so I shot him a nasty glare which he seemed to just rub off and hand me another piece of paper.

**Your cheeks changed to the same colour as your hair. It was kind of funny. - J.**

Of course, make fun of the ginger I thought bitterly before crumpling the piece of paper and throwing it at his face.

Once class was over, I made my way to my locker. Noticing the smirks and glares from the cheerleaders and Jace. I just ignored them, and grabbed my books.

Yes, this was definitely an ordinary day at Herondale High.

_Bang, Bang, Bang!_

That was until gun shots were heard throughout the halls, the sound of shouts from other students, that slam of doors, and the cries of students.

I looked down the hall-way, my gaze met with Jace's.

Yes, This was definitely NOT an ordinary day at Herondale High.


	2. Chapter 2

Screams.

That's all I could hear. One second I was looking at Jace, the next I was being pushed against the lockers, not able to move.

"Code Red! Code Red!" The P.A system was going off. I could hear people crying, and slamming the doors shut. People were trying to get out of the school.

My heart was beating fast as I looked around the hall, it was emptying pretty fast, and once everyone was out of sight I saw a body lying down at the end of the hall.

I let out a gasp, my hand instinctively going to my mouth trying to hold back a sob as I looked at the body from where I was standing.

I could tell that it was a girl, and that she was dead. All that surrounded her was flyers that had been ripped off the walls, garbage that had been knocked out of the garbage cans, and blood. So much blood.

I could feel some of my break-fast coming up so I looked away, trying to hold it down.

I then noticed whoever the shooter was, was no where in this hall-way, and that this was my opportunity to find shelter. To hide from this maniac and survive this.

I wondered the hall-ways trying to keep quite.

The hall-ways were messy, blood, garbage, shoes, open lockers. But nobody was insight.

'_Of course Clary, their in hiding stupid._' I chastised myself, while rolling my eyes.

I stopped at the end of a corner, carefully looking down it to make sure no one was there.

When I noticed no one was, I looked behind me making sure I was alone, and then made my way down the other hall.

I knocked on a door, I could hear heavy breathing, and someone trying to hold in sobs. I'm sure they weren't the only one crying. I didn't want to tell them it was me, because I could cause the shooter to come here, and I couldn't have someone's death on m conscious, so I continued on my way.

I started singing a song in my head my mother used to sing to me to calm me down whenever I woke up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare.

_A girl who wore pig tails, wished she could fly._

_She was a silly girl, who had dreams bigger then you and me._

_But she promised her self she could make it real._

_Then one day she got some terrible news._

_A girl who used to wear pig tales, and wish she could fly._

_Decided to take a life long sleep._

_You would not believe this young girl dreams, _

_Because she ended up flying with many other kinds,_

_In a place special place called heaven._

Okay so maybe I shouldn't be thinking about a young girl who died and went to heaven, but the melody was calming, and I guess you could say my mom was messed up for singing me that song.

But I guess if I was about to die today, I'd have this song in mind…

Again, kind of creepy.

I was rounding a corner lost in thought when I felt something smother my mouth.

Panic shock through me, and as I tried to fight who ever was holding me hostage.

They dragged me into the Tech Room. I was screaming against his hand, but you couldn't really hear it. I tried biting his hand, but he pushed his hand harder on my mouth to stop me.

That's when I realized he was saying something to me.

"Clary, relax its me. Jace." I turned around and there he was. The last guy I wanted to spend the last day of my life with.

"Jace, what the hell are you doing here!" I yelled, then immediately his hand went to my mouth, slapping it a little hard and sushing me.

"Be quiet." he said harshly.

When I didn't say anything he removed his hand from my mouth looking at me angrily.

"What the hell were you thinking! Are you trying to get yourself killed." he lectured me. I just rolled my eyes at him.

"What on earth are you talking about Jace?" I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes, and leaning against a desk in the process. This only seemed to make him angrier, and me more excited and happier.

"You do know someone has a gun in the school." he said.

"Really? And to think I could have been killed." I said.

"Good thing you were here to save me Jace." I said, again sarcastically, and running my hand down his arm.

A shock of electricity shot through my hand as it made contact with his arm, and immediately I snapped it back, and looked at Jace with a confused look, only to be met with the exact same look.

"What were you doing out there?" he asked, breaking up the awkwardness.

"Oh you know. Ditching class, going out for a morning stroll in the halls. You know the usual." I said back to my self.

"Now is not the time to be funny Clary. You could have been killed out there." he lectured me again.

"I'm a big girl Jace, I can handle myself." I said crossing my arms across my chest.

"Obviously not a very bright one." I heard him mumble under his breath. Which made me furious.

"Why did you have to sneak up on me. I could have been the shooter for all you know." I said, trying to get his insult out of my mind.

"I know you were the shooter, because your not capable of handling a gun, or killing anyone." he said as matter-of-factly.

"How do you know?" I challenged.

"Clary, I watched how you walk down the halls and trip on your own two feet. I notice how you can even hold two text books, let alone a pencil without dropping it. Face it, your not the killing type." he smirked.

"You don't know me." I said glaring at him. He just smirked and shrugged his shoulders before saying,

"You'd be surprised."


	3. Chapter 3

"Eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-nine bottles of beer. You take one down and pass it around, Eighty-eight bottles of beer of the wall." Jace whisper, slash sang, leaning against the wall across from me. His head against the wall, and his eyes close.

"Eight-eight bottles of-"

"Can you just shut up, your going to get us both killed." I whispered harshly. He opened his eyes and looked at me with a mocking smirk on his face that made me want to just smack it right off, no matter how sexy it looked.

"I'm bored, what can I say?" he mocked, adding a little shrug to his shoulders.

"Then sing in your head." I chastised, while glaring at him which caused his smirk to grow.

"What if I don't wanna?" he pushed.

"Then all have to shut you up?"

"And how do you plan on doing that?" he said, giving me a flirty look.

"Jesus." I muttered under my breath, leaning my head back smacking it slightly to the wall.

"Out of nine hundred students, you're the one I'm stuck with in a fucking code red. Great, just great." I mumbled partially to myself. Earning a slight chuckle from Jace.

"You love me." he said, I looked at him and rolled my eyes, then glared at him again.

"You wish."

"I know." he said, winking at me. Then resumed to rest his head against the wall with his eyes close, but still held his damn annoying but very sexy smirk.

"You are so infuriating, you know that?" I grumbled, crossing my arms across my chest.

"It's a gift." he said, shrugged his shoulders , his eyes still closed. But I saw them twitch as if he wanted to open them to see my reaction.

And to be honest, I kind of wanted him to open them so I could memorized his golden-Carmel eyes. No! Clary, bad.

"Tell me about your self Clary." Jace said.

"Why?" I asked confused. Again he shrugged his shoulders, his eyes never opening.

"Seems like we're going to be in here for awhile. Why not pass the time by doing something." he said.

"So you want to ask questions about each other's lives?" I asked again confused. He then opened his eyes and looked at me which a mischievous look on his face.

"Or we could find something else to do with our mouths." he said, giving me a flirty wink which caused me to stare blankly at him, and blush.

"I would never put my mouth anywhere near you!" I shouted. My hands going to my mouth quickly. We stayed silent for a few moments. Waiting to see if the shooter would come and kill us. After a few minutes, Jace looked at me with a playful smile on his face.

"Wow, you really know how to hurt a guys ego." he said, putting his hands over his heart, with a fake hurt look on his face.

"it's a gift." I glared, using the same things he said to me. He let out a light chuckle, nodding his head before his focus went towards the door. His face becoming serious immediately.

"Who do you think is the shooter?" he asked. I shrugged.

"No clue. Maybe some suicidal kid, wanting to end his life, but now before he takes it out on other students. Some random stranger, possibly. Who knows, you didn't see him?" I asked Jace, he shook his head.

"No, but I saw someone get shot." he said, his face falling slightly. I held it in together, noticing that Jace was hurt that someone was killed.

"Yea, I saw a couple bodies in the halls." I said. Not knowing why, he probably saw them too. Heard the guns shots too. He nodded his head, and we stayed silent for a while.

I remember all the practice code reds, not really thinking much of them. Never know how important they really are, or knowing I'd actually be in one.

I guess kids in high school really do hit rock bottom and do this.

Another Gun shot was heard through the hall, causing me to flinch, while tears started falling down. Jace started crawling carefully over towards me. Wrapping his arm around my shoulder protectively. A shock of something went between us, as his arm touched my shoulder. He was telling me to relax, and try to stay as quiet as possible. I hardly paid attention to what he was saying, and just stayed focus on his arm that was touching me, and on how close he was to me.

I could hear foot-steps on the other side of the door, running down the hall-way, and another pair of feet following. It was a girl I could tell, because she was sobbing.

"Please, please don't do this." she sobbed. She wasn't running anymore.

Next thing I heard was a scream, a gun shot, and then silence.

Jace pulled me closer to him, and I dug my face into his chest, trying to hold in my sobs as we listened to someone's feet walk down the halls, and then pure silence.

"Clary. Shh, relax. Its okay." he was saying quietly.

"Its not Jace. Someone was just killed." I sobbed, a little loudly. But not to loud.

"I know, I know Clary. But you have to calm down." he said, running his hands through my hair.

That little action caused both of us to freeze up and stare at one another in utter confusion.

I then moved away from him, pretty much all the across the room again.

"Thanks." I said awkwardly. He then nodded his head, not looking at me, but still held a confused look on his face.

Like this day couldn't get anymore weirder.

Jace, just touched my hair. What the F-


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm bored." Jace sighed leaning his head against the wall, with a lazy look on his face.

"What do you expect me to do?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"I don't know, but we've been sitting here for at least three hours with nothing to do but talk about boring shit." he drawled, which caused me to roll my eyes at him again.

"What can we do? We're in a Code Red for Christ's sakes." he just shrugged his shoulders at that.

"We could play a game." he suggested.

"A game, really Jace?" again another shrug, but this time he plastered a smirk on his face.

"Or we could go streaking?" he joked. And to be honest, I wanted to smack him in the face for that really lame joke, but instead I just glared at him.

"What about Truth?" he asked, after a while.

"Truth?" I laughed. Another shrug.

"Yea, we just ask each other questions about each other, but we have to tell the truth." he said, explaining the rules. As if the name didn't give it away.

"Okay, you go first." I said, sitting straighter so that I was face Jace directly.

"Is that your natural hair?" he asked. I let out a quiet laugh.

"Really?" he shrugged his shoulders.

"Its my natural hair. What about you, are those blonde locks natural?" He smirked.

"Of course. What's your favourite food?" he asked.

"Coconut pancakes." I said with a smile. He quirked one of his eyes brows, giving me a questioning look, but didn't ask about it.

"What's your favourite eye colour?" I asked.

"Green." he said, looking me straight in the eyes. I looked down, trying to hide my blush. Listening to his question.

"Why does Isabelle hate you so much?" he questioned.

"That's a question you should ask her, because I have no idea." I told him truthfully. Okay, maybe that wasn't the whole truth, and someone Jace knew too.

"Come on, I know you know." he egged me on.

"Fine, okay. Its because I stand up for myself, and don't stand for her shit. She knows it, her friends know it, hell, the whole school knows how much she hates it when someone talks back, and I'm the only one who does. So that's why she hates me so much. It is because I don't kiss her feet, or take her insults." he just nodded his head, processing my words.

"Why do you like Isabelle?" I found myself asking.

"She's hot." was his answer. I rolled my eyes.

"But she's your sister." I said, but he put a finger up wiggling it back and forth.

"Adopted. But its my turn now." he said with a smirk.

"Do you think I'm hot?" he asked with that cocky smirk on his face. I starred at him, with my jaw open. What the hell? I quickly composed myself, and glared at him, folding my arms across my chest.

"Yes, I think your like totally hot!" I said, in a really girly tone, twisting my hair around my finger, batting my eye lashes, and looking at Jace, in a joking matter. He smirked then walked over to me, then took a seat right in front of me. He moved his face closer to mine, with his smirk still in place. Immediately my fake girly act faded, and I'm pretty sure you could hear my heart beating faster. He then leaned closer, his mouth close to my ear, I could feel his warm breath against my neck, which sent chills down my spine, and Goosebumps along my arms.

"Its kind of obvious." he whispered, leaning back now with a full blown smirk on his face. I looked at him dumbfounded. Then quickly pulled myself together and glared at him.

"Its kind of delusional." I spat at him, but his smirk was still in place.

"So your telling me you don't think I'm hot?" he asked, faking being hurt.

"I-Well, yea you are, but-" I stuttered but he cut me off.

"See, it wasn't that hard." he said, lying down on his side, holding himself up by his elbow.

"Do you think I'm hot?" I asked, trying to catch him off guard. Then I felt taken back, where had all this confidence come from? I would have never asked a guy if they thought I was hot, and never in my right mind would I have asked Jace!

"Of course I think your hot." he said with so much confidence. I looked away, trying to hide my blush but I then felt Jace's fingers under my chin, moving my face so that I was looking at him.

"I think your even more hot, when you blush like that." he said seductively. I slapped his hand away from my face.

"Stop trying to dazzle me Wayland, because its not working." I said, trying to move away from him. He then crawled onto his knees and leaned his face closer to mine, just like before, but this time his lips were directly in front of mine, but not touching.

My lips seemed to ache, if that was possible. I have never in my life, wanted Jace Wayland to kiss me, so badly.

"I think its working." he said softly. His breath hitting my face overwhelming me. He was starring at me the whole time, his eyes occasionally fall to look at my lips then back into my eyes. He was so close now, his nose touching mine. I didn't dare to move, afraid that this was all a dream. My mind all forgetting that there was someone in the school with a gun, shooting people. All that I could focus on right now, were his lips.

Then I remembered who he was.

"Stop." I said, pushing him away from me, causing him to fall over. He gave me a confused look, and looked slightly hurt of my actions.

No not because of that, it was probably because no one has ever turned down Jace Wayland before.

"Why?" he asked.

"I can't." I said looking away, trying to hold back the tears. How could I have been so stupid? To think a boy like Jace Wayland, could be into a girl like me.

"Is it because of your boyfriend?" he asked. My eyes snapped to him, okay now I was confused.

"My boyfriend?" I asked, my voice matching my emotion.

"Yea, the kid with the glasses and wears those weird gamer t-shirts." he said.

"Simon? He's not my boyfriend?" I told him. Wait, Simon? I totally forgot about Simon.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked. But I wasn't listening.

Simon, oh my god, he was somewhere in the school. What if he was shot!

Oh my god, I have to go find him.

"Clary?" Jace asked concern, I pushed him aside running towards the door. Stumbling a couple times to get my balance, I was close to the door, my hand inches away from the knob, when I felt Jace grab me by my waist, and pulled me against him, and dragging me across the room.

I was squirming, and kicking him, yelling at him to let me go, but he put his hand against my mouth to stop me from shouting. He then sat down on the ground, putting me in his lap, and held me tight, holding my arms with one hand, and his other hand still on my mouth.

"Do you have a death wish or something?" he whispered harshly in my ear.

Tears were falling down my face, onto his hand. I knew it was useless to try and fight Jace, but I couldn't help but picture Simon dead, somewhere in the hall-ways. Or even bleeding to death.

After a few seconds, of me settling down, Jace removed his hands away, put them on both sides of my face to make me look at him.

"What's the matter?" he asked. Simon. More tears fell down my face, as the pain in my chest increased, when images of Simons lifeless body laid somewhere in the school.

"Simon, I have to find Simon." I gasped, through my sobs.

"You can't. Its to dangerous Clary." he tried to tell me, but I just shook my head, his hands still on both sides of my face.

"I have to. He could be dying. I just need to know if he's safe." I said, trying to pull away from him, and make my way towards the door again, but he held my face tighter.

"Clary, you have to stay where you are. Its not safe out there." he tried reasoning with me.

"I can't. He's my best friend. I can't loose him." I sobbed.

"Do you think I don't want to get out of here and look for Isabelle and Alec? Hell, its killing me not know if their alive or dead, but I can't because now that you're here, I need you to stay safe." he said, pulling my face closer.

"Don't worry about me, just worry about yourself." I said, attempting to run to the door again, but he pulled my face closer, our nose's now touching.

"To be honest, I could care less about myself. All that matters is for you to stay alive." he said. My heart started beating faster.

"Please Jace." I begged.

He held me, our nose's still touching. He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. I wanted to know what he was thinking. He then opened his eyes, removing his hands from my face, but grabbed my hand. He stood up, pulling me with him.

"Jace?" I asked confused. He started walking towards the door, gripping my hand tighter as we stood directly in front of it.

"I'm coming with you, and if anything happens, you run. You hear me, don't worry about me, you just run. Promise?" he asked, starring down the door.

"Jace, nothing-" he held my hand tighter, his golden eyes looking directly at me.

"Promise me Clary."

This was Jace Wayland, the boy who would do anything for anyone. He put others before them, the whole womanizer person was just an act. A cover for who he really was. Because truthfully, Jace Wayland had a heart.

"I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

**_Please Review, they mean sos much to me, and its really good to see people actually reading my stories._**

**_Thank you everyone for reading, it means so much_**

* * *

His hand shook when he reached out to open the door. He was nervous I could tell, but what am I to talk, I was just as nervous, afraid of what was in these hall-ways.

Slowly, Jace turned the door knob, making my heart beat faster with how slow he was going. I heard him taking deep breaths, and I'm pretty sure I was holding mine in.

Then very slowly, he opened the door, but something pushed the door open faster causing to me to cy out, but Jace put his hand to my mouth, worry evident in his face. I was about to look down at what pushed the door open, but found that Jace was holding my face up.

"Don't look down." he told me, an uneasy feeling seeped into my stomach as he said those words. He then very slowly guided me into the hall way, still holding my face with his hand. I didn't have to look down to understand what he was talking about. I could that copper smell, and feel the blood as I walked around, to what I'm guessing, was the body from the girl earlier who was running from the shooter.

I could feel the tears falling down my face at the realization, but continued walking around the body. Jace stopped us for a second, to look down both ways of the hall, and then pushed me behind him, while holding my hand and then began to walk.

Okay, I know what your thinking. Clary, you are one stupid girl for walking around the school while there was a person shooting people was free wondering the halls, for a second time! Have I lost my mind? Maybe, but all I knew was that I had to find Simon.

Jace might as well just let me see the body when we first left, because that was nothing compared to what we were walking through right now.

Bodies laid on the ground, blood everywhere, and I mean everywhere. On the walls, the floors, the lockers, holy, and even on the roof. It was sickening, and I didn't need my stomach to tell me other wise.

"Jesus, its just like a horror film." Jace said, squeezing my hand a little when we walked passes yet another body.

"But the sad part is, that this isn't a movie." I found myself saying, as I recognized the body lying against the lockers.

"Sarah." I whispered, putting my hand to my mouth trying to hold back a sob. Sarah was a nice girl, she was smart and talented. She had met Sarah through summer camp one summer, when both of them were paired to both be partners in being councillors. I don't understand whey the shooter killed her. Sarah always kept to herself, but she was very polite.

"Jesus." I heard Jace hiss, tuning towards him. He was looking at another body across from us, this time it was a boy, and he was wearing a foot-ball jacket. That's when I realized he was one of Jace's friends.

"Oh, Jace. I'm so sorry." I said, placing my hand against his shoulder, and gave his hand a squeeze. He gave a squeeze in return but didn't say anything. We just continued on our way trying to find Simon, and I'm pretty sure Jace was making sure he didn't see any of his siblings in the halls dead.

More bodies were lying dead on the ground as we passed, Jace and I both recognizing every single one. It broke my heart, it was horrible. Someone was really sick and twisted was doing this, and I had this sudden urge to find a gun of my own and shoot the brains out of the person. But then I pictured me getting shot, then Simon, then… Jace.

Tears brimmed my eyes lids as I thought about Simon or Jace dying. A pain in my heart caused me to rub my chest, trying to rub away the pain. I had to stop thinking like this or I'd end up having a panic attack, or a heart attack.

Then I remembered something.

"We should go to my locker, my cells phones there and I could try texting Simon?" I said, pulling Jace back a little towards the hall of where my locker was.

"Why didn't you think of that before?" he asked, trying to sound amused, but I knew his heart wasn't in it, nor his mind.

"Sorry, I was a little distracted with all these dead bodies lying on the ground." I said a little harshly, but what could I do? We were both on edge, scared that we'd be caught and killed.

We made it to my locker, and I tried opening my lock as fast as I could, while Jace shielded me with his body, his back towards mine, as he watched from both sides of the hall to see if anyone was coming. When it opened I grabbed my phone immediately and text Simon.

_**Simon, are you okay? - C**_

Original Clary, really original I thought to myself. I closed my locker, waiting for a text. Jace grabbed my hand again, and was now walking us back towards the class we were before. I then felt my phone vibrate so immediately opened it, stopping causing Jace to look at me annoyed, but I didn't pay any attention to him.

**Clary! Thank god, yes I'm fine. Where are you? - S**

I let out a sigh of relief, and texted Simon back smiling. He was safe, and that's all I could think about.

_**I'm by my locker. Had to make sure you were okay. - C**_

Almost immediately I got a text back.

**Are you mental! Get to a class or something, Jesus Clary, they didn't teach us what to do in a Code Red for shits and giggle.- S**

I rolled my eyes, of course Simon was lecturing but I knew he was right. Jace gave an annoyed grunt and started pulling me towards our class again.

_**Where are you?-C**_

It took a while to get a text back, but I felt the vibration as we were nearing the class.

**Hiding in my locker… -S**

I stopped in my tracks again, and turned to face down the hall.

_**Simon! What are you thinking? -C**_

"Can you try walking and texting at the same time, instead of stopping every time someone texts." Jace said frustrated. I looked at Jace with worry on my face, which immediately made hisannoyed face drop, and fill with concern.

"Clary what is it?" Jace said pulling me towards him a little. I felt my phone vibrate and I looked at it quickly.

**I'm thinking about being safe. Get to a class, I'll be fine.- S**

"We have to go back." I said, turning around again, but Jace held me close.

"Clary we can't, we have to get back into a class." he said, trying to pull me towards the class, but I just dug my hill into the ground trying to walk the other direction.

"Jace, Simons hiding in his locker, I have to go get him." I whispered harshly. He then took a deep breath, holding me in my place.

"Clary, I swear to god if we die, I'm going to kick your ass." he said, before pulling me behind him, and started walking towards Simons locker.

"Deal."

_**We're coming to get you.-C**_

I texted and then as quickly as I sent it, I received another text.

**We? -S**

I rolled my eyes.

_**Jace and I. -C**_

_**.**_

**Oh no! Hell no! I prefer the locker. So don't bother. -S**

_**Suck it up Simon! We'll be there in five- C**_

And with that I shut my cell phone shut and put it in my pocket.

"Is he alright?" Jace asked, looking at me for second, before tuning his focus back on the halls.

"Fine. Just stubborn." I said, looking at the dead bodies on the ground. I felt myself get sick at looking at them, so I just paid all my attention to Jace.

He really was handsome. His blond hair sweeping over his for heard, and little curls down past his ears a little. His eyes were bright gold, I watched as they concentrated on everything. The way he moved was so graceful, it could put angels to shame.

He was tall, and very muscular. He wore a white t-shirts along with blue jeans. His golden tan standing out more against his white shirt. I then noticed him looking at me, his lips in a smirk.

"Checking me out?" he asked, this time with real amusement.

"N-no, I just.. I was just-" I tried to say, but began stuttering like crazy, a deep blush crossed me cheeks and I looked away. I heard Jace let out a low chuckle.

"Its alright. I always check you out." he said simply before turning his focus back on the halls, leaving me to stare at him dumbfounded.

"I was not checking you out." I said, trying to sound assuring, but I knew when he heard the waver in my voice that I was lying.

"What ever you say." he said amused, his eyes not looking back to me.

"Your so frustrating!" I whispered a little loudly, he just looked at me and smiled. Not smirked, but actually smiled.

"I know." he said, before stopping, and turned his body around just like he did when we were at my locker. I turned around and noticed we were at Simon's. I quickly opened the locker as fast as I could, messing up a couple times, because my hands were shaking really badly. I cursed a couple times, causing Jace telling me to be quiet.

Finally, I got it to unlock and I opened the locker to find Simon there, standing with his arms across his chest, and looking annoyed.

"I told you not to come get me." he mumbled before stepping out of the locker. He open his arms wide, stretching groaning a little when his bones cracked. His attention then went to Jace, and he eyed his suspiciously.

"Jace." he nodded, Jace turned around with the same expression Simon held.

"Simon." he nodded back. I rolled my eyes at the boys behaviour.

"You better not of hurt her." Simon said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. Okay this was new. Jace turned around again looking at Simon furiously.

"I would never hurt her!" he said harshly, taking a step towards Simon. I moved Simons arm off of me, giving him a really annoyed look.

"Simon, Jace risked his life to come get you." I seethed, neither boys looking toward me, or even really acknowledging me. I would have thought they were ignoring me, if it wasn't until Simon mumbled a thank you, and then Jace looked smug.

"Jace, you better swipe that smug look on your face before I do it for you." I said annoyed. He looked at me playfully, his eyes lit up, and he was smirking.

"Depends on how you swipe it off. I'd prefer your lips." he said, leaning down a little, making me catch my breath. Simon then stepped in and pushed him back a little.

"Enough, we need to go back to a class to hide. The sooner the better." he said, taking hold of my hand. I noticed Jace face crunch up in jealousy. Before looking at me with a sad smile. I gave him one back. We turned around to walk back towards the class, before we heard clapping behind us.

"That must have been the most exciting thing I've seen all day." a familiar voice said behind us, causing all of us to tense at the sudden voice. We all turned around, facing the person speaking, when all of us were frozen in shock.

"What's wrong Clary? Got nothing to say, I thought you were all talk, you know since your always standing up for yourself? What, cat got your tongue?"

In a normal situation, I would have rolled my eyes, but not when I was frozen in shock and fear, facing the person I would least expect holding a gun towards my heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**_WARNING! -Character Deaths.._**

* * *

The halls were silent.

No one dared to make a sound or even move as Aline held the gun directly at me. I felt Jace and Simon tense beside me, but my main focus was on that gun.

"Come on Clarissa, don't go mute on me now." Aline taunted cocking her head to the side with a playful and twisted smirk on her face.

"Why?" was all I could manage to say as my eyes focused on every jerk her hand made, every shake, my heart beating faster then I thought possible. She let out a crazy laugh.

"You are kidding me right?" she asked with a crazed look in her eyes.

"And I thought you were smart Clarissa?" she took a step forward her hand still raised with the gun still positioned in front of my heart. I felt Simon flinch, and Jace moved his foot slightly, but I held my ground.

"Why this? Why kill all these people?" I asked, my gaze holding hers. Her crazy look turned into a glare as she shook with anger.

"Because of what they did to me!" she shouted, the gun shaking in her hand, Simon flinched again. She looked me dead in the eyes, almost with a pleading look.

"Because of what they did to us! The name calling, the pushing, everything! I have no friends because of those cheer-sluts, and dumb jocks. I have nothing!" she shouted angrily, with angry teas falling down her face.

"But you've killed innocent people Aline, that's not okay!" I shouted back, taking a step towards her, but Jace grabbed my hand and pulled me back. Aline looked at me like I was the crazy one, her mouth slightly open. She held the gun firmer this time, pointing it directly at me again.

"They aren't innocent!" she shouted.

"Look. Can you stop pointing that gun at-" Jace said cutting in, and pulling me slightly back so he was in front of me a little. Aline's eyes snapped to him, angrily.

"I don't think your in any position to tell me what to do Jonathon." she said, in her sickly calm voice, cocking her head to the side.

"Jace, don't" I said softly, holding onto his arm, begging him to move back.

"Yes, _Jace._ Listen to your new slut." Aline snapped harshly.

"Look here-" he snapped taking a step forward, I grabbed his arm more harshly this time before he could take another step, both of us freezing when she pointed the gun at my head, looking at him with her eyes, daring him to do something.

"No, you look here. You either take a step back behind her, or I will put a bullet between her pretty little green eyes while you watch and feel helpless, doing nothing but standing there, watching as she dies in front of you." she threatened.

"Which will it be?" she added.

Jace looked back at me, his eyes blazing with worry. Then very slowly, took a step back while still holding my hand, and was now standing behind me.

"Good choice." Aline barked.

"Aline don't do this." Simon said. She looked at him like she forgot he was even there.

"I get it. You don't want to die." she said softly in a taunting way.

"Sorry to burst your bubbles, but everyone dies eventually." she said harshly.

Slight movement caught my attention behind Aline as she watched. My heart started going faster if that was even possible.

_The police_. They were here.

"Do you know what I have to go through everyday?" Aline said sadly, her eyes filling up with tears. Her question was directed towards me, so I just shook my head.

"I wake up in the morning hoping that today will be a better day. That today everyone would either ignore me and pretend I was invisible, or someone will stick up for me. Maybe even someone be nice to me. But every time I walk through the front doors I'm greeted with a hurtful insult and a shove or two, to the ground." she said, wiping away a few tears that had fallen.

"I have to look both ways when I cross the hall, I have to peek over the corner at the end of the hall to make sure I won't get pushed against a locker. Sometime I have to wait in the washrooms just so I can grab my books and get to class without getting something dumped on me. But somehow, I always get found and something nasty always happens to me."

"Then at night, I go to bed and pray that tomorrow will be a better day. That I would just become invisible, because I would rather be invisible then be what I am." she sobbed.

"Aline, I never knew-" Simon said taking a step towards her, snapping my attention back to what was happening. I attempted to grab his hand to, but he shook me off and continued to walk towards her.

"Of course you didn't!" she snapped angrily.

I watched as one of the police officers put a finger to his mouth indicating for us to not give them away. I gave them a look, telling them to wait, because I knew somehow, that they were going to kill Aline. I took a step forward, Jace pulling me back again, giving me the '_what the fuck_' look, but I just shook my head, and took a step forward again, until I was standing in front of Simon.

"No one knows what I go through, because they don't care." Aline said looking at me with teary eyes.

"I care." I told her. She snorted, and wiped away her tears.

"Yea right." she said harshly.

"I do, and I'm sorry I never stood up for you." I told her truthfully.

"No, your just saying that now to save your life, because you know I'm going to kill all of you." she said harshly, pointing the gun at me.

"Don't hurt them please." I begged, tears falling down my face. _Defeated,_ that's what it felt like because I was giving up.

"Kill me, but let them go." I sobbed, but still holding my ground. Aline looked at me shocked and I could hear Jace and Simon gasp and start protesting, so Aline held the gun up towards them which shut them up.

"Why would you make this sacrifice?" she asked slightly confused. I shrugged my shoulders.

"They both mean a lot to me, and I would do anything to protect them." I told he truthfully. She shrugged her shoulders looking bored.

"Anything you'd like to say to them before I like kill you?" she asked. I nodded my head and turned around. Tears were falling down my face, as I looked at these two great amazing people.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. Both of them starring at me broken.

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed.

"Clary, don't do this." Jace said walking up to me, and grabbing my hand, Simon standing right to me, holding my other hand.

I gave them a sad smile before turning around. Aline was holding the gun up directly at my heart just like she did when she first found us.

I watched as the police get into position, raising their guns so they were directed at Aline. She had an evil smirk on her face as she looked at me.

"Good-bye Clarissa."

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

Someone grabbed my arm when the first bullet went off, but I only felt a small prick on my arm and thought nothing more of it. I did though feel something liquidy splatter over my face and body. Someone let out an ear piercing squeak, but it was drowned out by several other gun shots.

I watched as Aline's body jerked with every bullet that hit her, the gun falling from her hands as her eyes were open wide, and her mouth open like she was trying to scream, but the pain was just to much. Then very slowly, her body fell to the ground, her eyes lingering on me as she hit the ground.

I watched as Aline's life died through her eyes while she stared at me with such a heart breaking look.

I looked at who was holding my arm and noticed it was Jace. But he wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the ground with tears in his eyes.

No.

I looked to the ground, my hand going to my mouth as I tried to hold in a sob. My stomach churning at the blood that pooled all around the floor.

"Simon?" I choked, attempting to go and kneel beside him to make sure he was alive, but Jace held me back.

"Let me go!" I shouted, now tears falling down my face.

"Simon, wake up!" I shouted, fighting against Jace's hold. He can't be dead, he just can't.

"Wake up!" I shouted even louder, he had to get up, he had to. This wasn't how he was suppose to die. We weren't suppose to die like this! I turned around and started beating Jace's chest.

"Let me go, let me go!" I shouted angrily. I turned around and saw the officers standing their with their hats off, bowing their heads, looking at Simon sadly.

"No!" I shouted at them, they can't give up. They had to do something.

"Do something!" I shouted at them some more but they didn't move.

"Save him!" I felt Jace's hot breath on my ear, as he breathed heavily holding me against him tighter.

"He's dead sweet heart. He's gone." he said softly. I sagged to the ground with Jace's arms still around me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry Simon." I sobbed looking at my best friends dead body.

* * *

The paramedics had put Simon in a bag and hauled him off in an ambulance.

Jace held me bridal style out of the school, because I was to weak and tired. I looked and saw all the students looking at us sympathetically.

_Its their fault he's dead, they did this!_

They disgusted me. I noticed a women run over towards me followed with a man.

Mom and Luke. I just looked at them, not wanting them to see any emotion come from me.

"Clary, we have some extra clothes in the car. " I heard Luke say. Confused I looked down and noticed all the blood that covered me from head to two. Bits and pieces of flesh were attached with the blood and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"Shit." Jace mutter, before dropping my legs, and leaning me over a little as I threw up everything in my stomach, while Jace rubbed my back soothingly.

That's when I felt a horrible pain shoot through my arm.

I looked at my arm and noticed a hole in my arm, blood was seeping through, and I felt it starting to throb and shoot more painful shots up my arm.

"Oh, I've been shot." I heard myself say, before the blackness covered my vision and I fell into a pair of soft and safe arms letting the darkness take hold of myself.

* * *

_**I understand im going to be hated on for this chapter for killing Simon, but I apologized and yes i hated killing him, but i had to kill someone, and it was either him or jace, and i kind of need Jace in my other chapters. **_

_**So again, i apologize i really hated killing Simon, i was crying the whole time. **_

_**But please Review, and let me know what you think.**_


	7. Chapter 7

"_What do you want to be when you grow up Clary?" asked Simon, who was lying down on bright green grass starring up at the sky with both hands behind his head and just enjoying looking at the cloud's. We did this all the time, go to the beach, the park, wherever and just lie down and watch the clouds, it was peaceful._

"_An artist." I said simply, watching as the clouds moved across the sky slowly._

"_You?" I looked over to Simon who looked like he was deep in thought. _

"_I'm not sure." he answered a couple seconds later. He then turned over on to his side so that he was facing me, his elbow propped up and his head in his hand._

"_I mean, we have our whole lives a head of us, and we have no clue what the future holds." he said, staring at a piece of grass in front of him._

"_But people have goals. It doesn't hurt to have goals." I said, he smiled picking up a piece of grass and started twisting it between his fingers._

"_No, it doesn't. But what I'm saying is, who knows what will happen. I could end up as a the guy who lives at his moms house until he's forty, and you could be like a stripper." he said, and I glared at him, which he noticed and chuckled._

"_A high class stripper." he added, winking at me, which I just rolled my eyes at him._

"_I guess, but why are we even thinking about this. We still have years to go, I mean we have to get through high school, and then college or university. You have to let your life run its course." I said starring back at the clouds. _

"_I guess your right. It was just a thought." he said, turning back onto his back and continuing to look at the clouds._

_It was peaceful. _

_Until screams filled the air, and I couldn't feel the prick's of the grass in my back. I couldn't see the bight blue skies or the white fluffy clouds. _

_Only the darkness._

_It was cold, and it set an unsettling feeling in my stomach. It sent chills down my back. _

_More screams filled the air from behind me, causing me to turn around only to be met with a small T.V screen. It showed a bedroom, and the camera was being moved around as if someone was trying to position it right. _

'_What was this?'_

_Suddenly the camera stopped moving, and someone stepped in front on it. It was a girl, but I couldn't see her face, because her damp black hair was in her face. She wore a blue night gown, and was extremely pale. Or maybe that was just the lighting._

"_I'm a nobody." she said sadly. Her body moving side to side slowly. _

"_I'm a joke." her voice cracked. _

"_They say I'm a freak, that I have no life." her voice going tighter, her hands closing into fists._

"_They told me to kill myself, and that no one would miss me." she said, hate evident in her voice. A dark chuckle came from her._

"_They didn't think I would do it though. But I did, and I took them down with me." she said. But then she let out a small sob, and put her hand up to wipe away a few tears. _

"_I was innocent." she said softly, almost like a whisper. But then her body went tense, and her hands went back into fists._

"_Innocent!" she screamed. Her face lifting slowly, her hair still slightly in her face. _

_I let out a gasp, as my hand went to my mouth. _

_Aline. _

_She looked scary. Something from like a horror movie. She had bags under her eyes that were a dark black on her pale skin. She had blood splattered on her face, and it looked like her makeup was running down her face, her dark damp hair sticking to her face._

"_They made me like this." she cried._

"_But I got them." she smiled wickedly._

"_I got them good." she let out a bone chilling laugh. Her eyes focus on the camera, it sent Goosebumps on my arms, because it looked like she was talking to me, and nothing I could do could tear my eyes from the T.V screen._

"_I enjoyed watching them beg for their lives, begging for me to spare them, and that they were sorry and would never do it again. I laughed at them, and then I watched as I killed each one slowly, the blood draining from their bodies, and the life fading through their eyes." she said sickenly._

"_Oh yes, I enjoyed it so much." she said happily. She shrieked with laughter, finally looking away from the camera, that's when I felt myself being released and I took my chance to turn and run away._

_I turned around, ready to run when something cut me off. _

_Aline was standing in front of me, a bullet through her head, and blood running down her face. She looked the same as in the video on T.V, except she seemed more real._

"_Remember me." she hissed, before pushing me by my shoulders, and I started falling._

_I could hear her laughing as I fell, my screams echoing all around me, mixing in with her wicked laugh. _

"_Clary!" that's my name, someone's shouting my name._

"_Help me!" I shouted._

"_Clary!" it sounded so familiar._

"_Simon?" I shouted, tears falling down my face, as I continued to fall through nothing._

"_Clary!"_

* * *

All I could see were bright lights. It hurt my eyes to much so I closed them, putting my hand over my face, only to be met with pain shooting up my arm. I took deep breaths trying to get the pain to go away, but not only the pain, the dream, Aline, the memories, everything.

"Clary?" I removed my hands, and opened my eyes the light slightly hurting them, but slowly adjusting. I started to sit up a little, getting used to my surroundings. I knew I wasn't alone, but I couldn't look at who it was. Not yet.

I was in at the Hospital I noticed. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you deaf now or something?" I heard Jace's voice ask.

"Sorry, I sort of just woke up and I'm not really a morning person." I snapped angrily at him, finally taking a glance at him. My anger slowly dying down, He looked like a mess.

His hair was messier then it usually was, and he had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in days. He was pale, and that means a lot, because he was usually a golden tan colour. He had on sweats and a dark sweater, his hands hiding in the pockets.

"Its actually the afternoon." he said, rolling his eyes. He then walked over towards me, starring at me like he was looking at me for the first time in forever. He ran his hand through my hair, taking a seat next to me, then placed his hand on my cheek as if checking if I was really there. That I wasn't a dream.

"God, I thought I lost you." he said sounding torn.

"What happened?" I asked confused.

"When the cops started shooting at Aline, on of the bullets missed and hit your arm. Your fine, but they thought you were just traumatized." he said softly.

"So then Aline didn't shoot me?" I asked confused. That's when I remembered the blood, the screaming, the dream.

"Oh god." I gasped, moving away from Jace.

"She killed him." I chocked looking at Jace, who nodded his head sadly and looked away from me.

"But.. H-how? She… the gun.. It was pointed at me! She was suppose to shoot me!" I shouted angrily.

"I grabbed you at the same time Simon was about to push you out of the way. But he stumbled a little, because you were already moving towards me. He got in the way, and she shot him." he said not looking at me.

_Blood everywhere, all over me. The smell. God, it was everywhere._

"I'm gonna be sick." I said, clutching my stomach. Jace looked at me worriedly, before quickly grabbing a small bin and putting it in front of me just as I started throwing up.

He rubbed my back soothingly, as I sobbed and pucked.

"H-he… died. He died, b-because of me!" I sobbed hysterically, turning away from Jace.

_You did this!_ something shouted from in my head.

Jace reached over to wrap his arms around me but I flinched and pushed him away.

_You don't deserved to be comforted!_

He looked hurt at my actions, so I looked away bring my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, pulling tighter to me.

"Clary, he was trying to protect you." Jace tried soothing me. I didn't say anything, no point in arguing with him.

"I'll get your parents." he said softly. I felt the bed shift and his foot-steps as he made his way towards the door. I refused to look at him, because the guilt was already to much.

"Get some rest." and with that he left.

_Yea Clary, get some rest. Dream about how you killed your best friend. Go on, won't it be exciting. _

Tears stung my eyes, as I forced them back.

_No, no more crying. You don't get to cry. You don't get to feel._

_If Simon doesn't to, neither do you, I mean it is your fault he's dead._

_Dead. Dead. Dead._

"Clary?" my mom asked poking her head through the door, I didn't even look at her.

"Honey?"

"I just want to go home." I said emotionless, starring at the bed sheets, my knees still held up against my chest tightly.

"Just take me home."

* * *

_**Okay so this isnt my finest chapter, and i`m sort of not happy with it, but let me know what you think.  
And if you have any suggestions please feel free to tell me what it is. Thanks :)**_

Review, you guys are great, and thanks so much for reading !


	8. Chapter 8

**Jace's POV**

After the shooting, and Clary coming home from the hospital, I knew things weren't going to go back to the way things were. The girl lost her bed friend, other students were killed, all based on because a girl was bullied and wanted revenge.

She sure as hell got her revenge. No one knows what to do, or how to react, I mean I don't blame them, it was unexpected. No on in a million years probably thought someone would decide to shoot up a school.

Its been about a week after the shooting and their finally letting the kids back to school.

Clary had just gotten out of the hospital when they announced it and won't we going after the next week.

God, Clary.

I'd never seen someone as wrecked as her.

At first all she did was cry and mourn over her best friend, claming in was her fault. I just kept holding her, telling her it wasn't, that she couldn't have done anything and that he did it to save her.

Then a couple days later, when I went to visit she was unresponsive. The doctor and nurses had been saying that ever since she had woken up, she'd just be sitting in bed starring out her window. That whenever they tried to get her attention, she didn't respond. Just simply ignored them.

When I visited, I thought that she was worst before but now …

Before, she was a wreck, she was hurt, angry, just devastated, now she was just empty. Nothing.

"Clary, Jace is here honey." her mother had said softly opening the door for me. When Clary didn't turn around her mother let out a sad sigh and gave me a sad smile before walking out of the room to give us some privacy.

Once the door was closed, I dragged the chair I usually sat in and brought it right beside the bed taking a seat.

"Clary." I said softly.

Nothing.

"They opened up the schools today."

Nothing.

"Do you know when they'll be letting you out of here?"

Nothing.

"How's the gun shot wound?"

Nothing.

She just continued to look out the window, her green eyes glazed and focused on nothing. Her breathing was normal, and her was put into a messy pony tail, small ringlets of hairs let loose.

"I heard that their having an assembly for those who were killed." I said.

Nothing.

I let out a sigh, running my hand through my hair.

"Clary, look at me." I demanded my voice firm. She tensed.

"Clary, I mean it. Look at me." I said again. I noticed her eyes were aware now, but she refused to look at me.

"If you don't look at me, I will make you." I said slowly, making sure she got the message.

Then very slowly, her head began to turn, and once she was completely looking at me I wish I hadn't said anything and she was off in her own little world starring out the window.

Her expression was empty. There was nothing in her eyes that held the same Clary I once knew before the shooting. The girl with the fiery attitude, quick comebacks, and wouldn't take shit from no one. That girl was gone.

"Jesus." I sighed, raising my hand and placing it on her pale cheek. They didn't turn the beautiful pink I was so used to. Instead she just starred at me. Her eyes never leaving mine.

"Say something." I pleaded. No, I won't admit that I am begging, it hasn't come to that, but if it did, I would do anything for this broken girl. I would do anything just to get her back to normal.

She continued to stare at me, her greens eyes focused intently on mine.

"Please?" I ask softly, leaning my face a little closer to hers, searching her eyes to see if it flickered any emotion in her, but still there was nothing.

"Your strong Clary. I know you'll get through this." I said, leaning up a little and placing my lips on her forehead. Her soft skin making y lips tingle as they lingered there for a couple seconds. When I pulled back I saw a flicker of something, but as soon as it was there. It was gone.

I looked down at my watch and realized it was time for to go, and that visitor hour was closed.

I put my chair back to where it was before silently. Clary's eyes still focus on me, moving along as I moved around the room.

When I got to the door, I took one more look towards her.

This beautiful and innocent girl didn't deserve to go through this, and if I could, I would have switched places with her in a heart beat.

"Bye Clary." I whispered.

I turned and walked out of the door, and almost missed a small whisper come from the room, it was so low, I almost didn't pick up what was said, but I knew that she had whispered a broken 'good-bye'.

Now today is the first day of school and I was absolutely dreading it because Clary wasn't going to be here, but at home sitting in bed starring out of her window lost in her thoughts.

Standing in front of the doors of the place I call hell I let out a sigh. I wasn't ready to walk in yet, it just didn't feel the same. Students were walking past me, giving me these strange looks, some sympathetic, some creeped out and confused, but I didn't pay attention. These people didn't matter.

The bell had finally rung, and I decided that it was time to go in. I walked in slowly, taking my time and not worrying about getting to class.

The halls were scattered with students running to their classes, all disappearing one by one and then eventually, there wasn't any student in sight, just an empty hall and myself.

I made my way towards my locker, the smell of bleach filled the halls. It looked like it did before the shooting, if not more cleaner.

It was probably the most clean I've ever seen the school in.

Not a trace of blood anywhere. Not on the floor, not on the walls, and not on the roof.

But I could still see the blood puddle's, the bodies, everything.

Something that tragic doesn't immediately leaves one's mind, but I think it was pretty much permanently attached in my brain, and I would just have to deal with that.

I finally got to my locker, and got my books. Taking a quick glance down the hall. The next hall was where I almost lost Clary. I was thankful I didn't have any classes down that hall-way, but all upstairs.

So I quickly shut my locker and took my time getting to class.

The teacher didn't give me a hard time like he usually would have, instead he gave me a sympathetic look, like he understood and gave me a small nod letting me know that he knew I was here. Everyone was just looking at me, not saying anything so I just quickly took my seat.

Yes, today was going to be a long day.

**Clary's POV**

Today my parents had brought me home to the hospital.

The whole car ride home my mother had tried to get me to talk, but I just shut her out.

"You must be excited to finally be able to sleep in your own bed." she said, smiling over to be, her eyes begging me to smile back, but I just looked at her. I saw the hurt flash in her eyes before she looked away, and I felt guilt bubbling in my stomach, but I wouldn't show it.

"You must be exhausted, eh kiddo?" he asked, looking at me through his mirror. But I didn't respond.

I watched as mom and him give each other a look, before his eyes went back on the road, and she continued to look out her own window. I continued to stare.

Once home, my parents started getting out of the car but I wouldn't budge.

"Come on Clare-bear." Luke said, saying my childhood nickname.

I did as I was told and un-did my seatbelt and walked towards the house.

"Are you hungry sweety?" my mother asked as soon as we walked into the house, but instead of saying anything I just made my way towards my room.

"Hey!" Luke called, making me stop in my tracks, my back facing them.

"Your mother asked you a question, don't be disrespectful and answer her." he lectured. I heard my mom whisper softly, 'it's alright honey.' for which he whispered back harshly, 'I understand she went through a very tragic thing, but that doesn't excuse her for being disrespectful towards us.' Mother let out a sigh, and I just stayed where I was.

"Clarissa! Look at me while I'm talking to you." he said in a hard tone. Very slowly, I turned myself around.

_You don't deserve them_. A voice whispered in my mind.

I stared at both parents with a blank look, my mother had a sad expression on her face while Luke was angry and slightly warn out.

"Would you like something to eat?" my mother said after a couple seconds of awkward silence. I just stared.

"Clarissa, this behaviour is unacceptable answer your mother!" Luke said getting frustrated, but I still didn't say anything.

_Punish yourself, I mean it's the least you can do. You did get your best friend killed._

"Now!"

_Murderer!_

Luke started making his way towards me, his hand reaching out for mine. His face then went blurry and next thing I knew Aline was coming at me with a vicious look on her face with her hand positioned towards my neck.

_Remember me!_

All I could hear next was a blood curdling scream leave my mouth and my mother putting her hands over her ears, and Luke standing in front of me with a horrid look on his face.

No Aline in sight.

_Your fault._

I was now in Luke's and my mother's arm, both sobbing uncontroably as they both held onto tight, and I held both of them tight next to me.

Very slowly, the exhaustion was getting to much and I allowed the darkness to take hold on me.

**Jace's POV**

School sucked. What was new?

The had announced that once everything is back to normal, and things are organized once again, we will be holding an assembly for those who were killed.

I made my way towards Clary's house, ready to tell the girl about my day.

Her parents had told me she would be coming back next week, and has asked me to look out for her, and I tend to spend as much time as I could watching and protecting her when she did come back to school.

Once I was at Clary's, I knocked on her door and Luke had answered. The atmosphere didn't feel right, but tense.

"Clary here?" I asked, but I already knew she was.

"Yea, she's upstairs." he said sadly, before moving out of the way allowing me in. I looked around and saw her mother sitting on the couch wiping away tears, and her eyes wee red a puffy. Things were knocked over, and she was trying to pick them up.

"What happened?" I asked confused turning around to look at Luke.

"She had a melt down when we came home." he said looking guilty.

"It was my fault really, I was pushing her to answer her mother but she just kept looking at us, and I was getting frustrated. I went to hold her hand, but she just start screaming bloody murder. Scared the hell out of me, we didn't know what to do, except just hold her, and she eventually just fell asleep." he said, looking down sadly. Obviously feeling guilty for what had happened and was blaming himself. As if noticing it took, his wife had walked over and rubbed his shoulder with her hand giving him a small smile.

"It wasn't your fault. It was too soon, and we both shouldn't have pushed her." she said softly to him before looking at me with a grateful smile.

"She's awake now, so you can go on up."

When I walked into her room, she looked just like the girl in the hospital room starring out her window, lost in thought.

"Hey." I said, causing her to tense before looking at me with those empty green eyes.

I walked over, bringing a chair at her desk over, and placed it next to her taking a seat and grabbing her hand.

"How was your day?" I asked softly. She just stared.

"Luke and your mom are pretty upset at what happened to day. They didn't mean to scare you, you know." I said, moving a piece of hair out of her face. She blinked, but didn't show any emotion.

"I went to school today." I said, hoping to spark some kind of emotion, but still there was nothing.

"Its weird you know. Knowing what went on in the halls and stuff. I've never seen the school so clean in my life." I said, giving a soft smile, but her lips didn't even twitch.

"Their having an assembly sometime next week, do you think you'll be up for it?" again nothing.

"Simon's picture is gonna be in it." There! Sadness, it was there, she shown it. I saw it. But she was then once again emotionless, and now wasn't looking at me anymore but out her window. Something inside me exploded, and I was suddenly furious at her.

"Clary, you need to knock this off." I said seriously. Tightening my hold on her hand, but she didn't look at me.

"I think you need to talk someone, a councillor, your parents me. Hell, just someone!" I said furiously. Her body was tense, and I knew she was refusing to look at me.

"Please, Clary. Let me in! I want to help you." I pleaded, holding her hand against my chest, and bringing my other hand around under her chin, moving it softly so she was facing me.

Pain, that's all her face held, was pain.

"It hurts." she said softly. A tear falling down her face. I quickly wiped it away with my free hand, and kissed her cheek.

"I know, baby. But it will get better I promise." I said, staring into her green eyes. She didn't say anything after that, and we just sat their in comfortable silence, with me just holding her hand.

When it was time to go, I gave a quick peck on her forehead and started walking out of her room.

"Bye." I said softly turning around. She was moving down, so that she was lying in bed, her eyes closing in exhaustion.

"Good-bye." she whispered softly before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**Review please! :)  
I was actually kinda, sorta happy about this chapter, and slightly proud.  
I know it was depressing but thats the point, and a warning-slash-spoiler, its just the begining.  
**

**Clary's emotion will soon start to begin to start spiraling out of control, and who knows what might happen ;)  
Don't forget to Review, and keep an eye out.**

**xoxox.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Jace's POV**

I just got back from my visit with Clary, and nothing has really changed. She still just stares with that empty look on her face, she refuses to talk about Simon, or Aline, or really anything about that day. We learned that when her mother brought over a therapist thinking Clary needed to talk to someone.

I was the only one allowed in the room when they questioning was going on, and I'm being completely honest when I say I have never seen a person ever act the way Clary had when the therapist started questioning her. Hell, I've never seen anyone go through what the poor girl was going through.

"_Clarissa, this is Dr. Bane. Is it okay if he just asks you some questions?" her mother asked delicately, careful not to go to close to her daughter scared she might react in a way that a mother just couldn't handle._

_Clary just stared out her window not bothering to even acknowledge us._

"_Clary, look at us." I said hardly, making her tense a little but obey, slowly turning around to face us with the same empty expression that._

"_I'll just be downstairs." her mother mumbled, the hurt evident in her voice as she turned around closing the door softly, her foot-steps being heard as she makes her way downstairs._

_Dr. Bane then grabbed the chair that I usually sat in and brought it up so that he was sitting at the foot of her bed, a clip-board in hand, and watching Clary, as she watched him._

"_Clarissa is it?" he spoke. She broke her gaze from his and looked at me._

"_She likes Clary." I found myself saying, her gaze moving back to Dr. Banes._

"_Clary, pretty name. Did your friends give you that nickname?" he asked casually. When she didn't answer anything, he quickly wrote something down on his clip-board. _

"_Your parents tell me, you haven't talked about the incident or about anything. That your completely mute towards them, and think that bringing me here will help you open up more. What do you think?" he asked, looking at her again. She just continued to say nothing. He wrote something down._

"_I personally believe you are just in shock. You did after-all, witness your best friends death." he said, watching for he reaction. My heart jumped a little as I watch her flinch, but continued not to say anything. Still no emotion on her face._

"_Simon, was it? That was his name?" he asked. _

_Her face contorted into an furious scowl as she looked at the man, it left both of us shock at her sudden emotion._

"_Don't." she said hard, her voice cracking in that one word. Dr. Bane wrote something down._

"_I'm sorry, but it is perfectly normal that you are feeling responsible for your friends death. That what happened that day was your fault. But you will learn that it wasn't. That the what Simon did was save your life. Aline took his." he said simply. I was left dumbstruck did he just say that?_

_Clary's hands went to her ears, her face looking murderously at Dr. Bane, as he said this._

"_Stop! I said stop it!" she screamed at him. I started walking towards her, but the guy put up his hands to stop me. _

"_Clar-" I tried to say but he cut me off._

"_Clarissa, you were the victim. It wasn't your fault." he said calmly. _

_She stopped moving, and just looked at him with the same emotionless expression on her face. _

_Then, it what felt like slow-motion she lunged towards the doctor, screaming at the top of her lungs, and began viscously scratching and punching the man. _

_Immediately, I ran towards her trying to pull her away from the man, but she just kept going, and wouldn't let me touch her._

_Luke and her mother burst into the room, with wide eyes and shocked expressions._

"_Help!" I yelled towards them, making them both snap out of it and drag the poor man away from Clary._

_I finally got a good hold on her and pulled her away from him, while her parents pulled the doctor up and towards the door. I placed her between my legs and hugged her to my chest, trying to calm her down as she thrashed around, trying to break my grip. _

_She was strong, but I was stronger. _

_The poor doctor had scratches on his face, his nose bleeding and it looked like a bruise just below his eye was starting to form. He slowly got up from the floor, looked at Clary with an expression I couldn't quite place, grabbed his clip-board and left without saying a single word. _

_When the door closed, Clary had stopped moving and was now back to the expressionless look her face. _

_I picked her up carefully then placed her on her bed, while she just looked at me, with an empty gaze._

_I suddenly felt anger flare up within me._

"_What the hell was that Clary? You could have seriously hurt the guy!" I shouted towards her, but she didn't flinch, didn't say a thing. Just stared, always stared._

"_Why? He was just trying to help you! Your parents want you to get better, your friends want you to get better, I want you to get better!" I shouted. Again nothing._

"_Please Clary. I want the girl with the quick comebacks, and sarcastic tone back. Not this, empty Clary." I said, sadly. _

_Sadness, it was there, and I saw it. But she quickly wiped it away by looking out her window again. _

"_You have school tomorrow. I'll be here in the morning to pick you up." I said defeated, and started walking towards the door._

"_Bye." I said softly, turning around to see if she was looking at me. My heart-dropped when I saw her still looking out her window, after a few second with no response I walked out the door. _

* * *

So here I am, at Clary's living room waiting for her to walk down the stairs, nervous of what today might bring.

Her mother was sitting in the kitchen tapping her foot impatiently, while sipping on her coffee, worrying about her daughter, while Luke just paced in front of me, lost in thought.

"How was she this morning?" I found myself asking. Her mother looked over at my direction, her foot tapping dropping for a second.

"She was moving." she said, then began to tap her foot, and take worried glances towards the stair case.

All our heads snapped towards the stair case when we heard her foot-steps. Everyone stopped moving.

I noticed, maybe for the first time that she looked different, and not a good different.

She was skinnier… to skinny, and was paler then she usually was. Her once wild and bright red hair, was now dull curls, like she didn't even bother to brush her hair. She had bags under her eyes, like she hadn't been sleeping properly, and if possible, she seemed smaller.

"Morning." I said, the first to break the tension. She looked at me, and like everyday, just looked with no emotion.

"Here's your lunch Clarissa." her mother spoke softly, handing her daughter a brown paper bag, and a small kiss on her forehead.

"Have a good day." she whispered into Clary's hair before pulling away and trying to hold in her tears.

"If you have a tough time, just call." he said, before giving her a small kiss the same spot where her mom kissed. She just looked at me, not bothering to listen to her parents, and I could see the hurt on both of their expressions.

"Come on. Can't be late for school." I said, sticking my hand out for her to take it.

She looked at me for a couple minutes, everyone just standing their in awkward silence. I was about to put my hand back, before I felt her cold fragile hand in mine, and squeezed.

She wasn't looking at me anymore, but the door. Trying to make this as quick as possible, I gave both her parents a sad smile before pulling her towards my car.

I opened the door for her, which she just climbed in and did her seat-belt up right away. Closing her door, I quickly went to my side doing the same, the next thing I knew, we were on our way to school.

"I'll be with you all day, so if your feeling overwhelmed or anything just tell me and we can leave." I told her, sparring a quick glance towards her, but she was just looking out the window, seeming to be lost in thought. I let out a sigh, turning on the radio to pass the time until we make it to school.

Once at school, I parked the car. Both of us just sitting their starring at the school. Her eyes weren't on the school precisely, they were more on the students. I watched as her eyes moved from one student from the other, as they walked towards the school, some stopping to talk to their friends.

"Ready?" I asked softly. She looked over towards me, and nodded. Before opening her door, and began walking towards the school.

This left me confused. She wasn't waiting for me?

Quickly, I got out of the car locking the car, and caught up towards her.

"Wait for me." I chucked softly, for which she just looked at me, and started walking slower towards the school.

She didn't waste time, and opened the door walking in. Everyone had stopped moving.

They all stared at us. More precisely Clary, and each and everyone of those students held shocked expressions.

'_What is she doing here?'_ I heard someone whisper.

'_I thought she wasn't coming back till next week.'_ Another one whispered.

Clary continued to walk towards her locker, not bothering to look at any of the students.

'_She's acting like nothing happened.'_ Someone whispered harshly.

'_Heartless bitch.'_ A girl mumbled under her breath, before turning around and began rummaging through her own locker, not bothering to pay attention to Clary.

Clary just continued to walk, she finally got to her locker and grabbed her books. But I noticed she was doing everything in a hurry. She slammed her locker, turning towards me in a swift movement, grabbed my hand tightly and started walking to our first period together.

We walked towards our class, passing Izzy and her little crew along with my old friends.

"Jace." one of the guys nodded their heads towards me. I nodded back, noticing all of their eyes were watching Clary and I. But Izzy's eyes were on our hands.

Clary walked into class, and immediately went to her seat not bothering to look at any of the students, and I took the seat next to hers, she let go of my hand.

The bell rang, and our teacher walked into the class, stopping abruptly when he saw Clary sitting by the window looking out.

"Clarissa!" he said shocked. She looked at him with the same empty look, and he seemed even more taken back.

"It's good to have to back." he added quickly before walking towards his desk uncomfortably, and started his lesson. Clary turned her head towards me, then back out her window getting lost in her own world.

And that's how most the day went.

* * *

Lunch was a different story.

Clary and I began walking towards the café, and I could tell she didn't want to be here, so I told her we could go out for lunch, but I had to go by my locker to get my wallet and keys.

I didn't know that Izzy and her friends would be there.

Neither did Clary.

"Clary." Izzy said sadly, when we walked up. Clary just looked at her emotionless, but I could see something sparking in her eyes.

"How are you?" Izzy asked softly. Clary didn't respond but just looked at my adopted sister. Izzy took a quick glance towards me, giving me a confused look before Danielle spoke up.

"Did getting shot hurt?" she asked stupidly, both Izzy and I gave her a 'are you fucking stupid look' while she just shrugged her shoulders and started twisting her hair around her finger.

"I'm sorry about your friend." Izzy said softly, placing her hand on Clary's shoulder.

But what shocked me was that Clary had flinched, causing Izzy to drop her hand, and what scared me was angry Clary was back.

"Don't. Touch. Me." she spoke lowly, her voice angry. The girls seemed taken back.

"I-I'm sorry." Izzy stuttered taking a step back. Next thing I knew Clary had let go of my hand and pushed Izzy against the locker, holding her back. Everyone in the hall stopped moving, and was watching the fiery head snap.

"You should be sorry!" she shouted, causing the girls to flinch. Danielle was the first to act and push Clary a little so she wasn't pushing Izzy against the locker.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" she shouted, but Clary just pushed Danielle back, and was now up in her face.

"Its your fault he's dead! You did this! You kill him!" she shouted. Everyone wore shocked expressions.

"N-no, Aline! Aline's the one who killed everyone, she's the one who killed Si-" Danielle tried to say but was cut off when the tiny red head slapped her across the face.

Everyone gasped.

"It because of you, she did it. Its because of you those people were murdered. You did this." Clary said in an emotionless tone, all anger drained from her.

"Clary-" I tried to say reaching towards her, but she turned around, pushing me out of the way and running out of the school.

Everyone burst out and started whispering, texting and gossiping about what happened.

I turned around and saw Danielle crying into one of the girls shoulder while Izzy just grabbed my arm and walked me into an empty hall-way.

"What happened to her?" she asked, getting straight to the point.

"Her best friend was murdered right beside her, that's what happened." I said harshly, crossing my arm across my chest starring at her angrily.

"I know, but I mean, she's just-" she said, letting out a breath and running her hand through her hair nervously.

"She's not the same Clary." she said finally.

"Do you not think I don't know that? She's gone into this whole new kind of depression. Its scary." I said, chocking a little at the end. A small tear falling down my face, I wiped it away furiously, crying. Pfft! Men do not cry! Izzy caught this.

"You like her don't you?" she asked softly. I looked away.

"No," she gasped.

"You love her!"

I looked at her angrily.

"That doesn't matter Izzy, she's broken, and I'm trying my hardest to fix her, but I don't know if she'll ever be the same again. She won't let me in!" I shouted frustrated. Leaning against the locker putting my hands on my head, and slowly fell to the ground to sit.

"I'm scared Iz." I said softly.

I felt her arms go around me in a comforting sister way. The way it always been, but the other way around. I never used to be comforted, I didn't need it. It was always Izzy or Alec, needing someone to be there for them.

Now it was me.

"We'll get her back Jace." she said, hugging me tighter. And god, did I wish that she was right.

Clary hadn't come back to school after she ran out and I figured she just went home.

Driving towards her house, I couldn't help letting Izzy's words settling into my head.

'_You love her!'_

'_You love her!'_

And I did, I loved Clary. I always felt something towards her, but I mean, high school was cruel, and I only wanted the popularity, the girls falling all over me. It was every guys dream.

But I always wanted Clary to fall over me. I knew I had somewhat liked the fiery head, with her quick comebacks, and short jabs. She was something.

Now, spending time with her, I found myself falling in love with her, and it hurts seeing her like this, it breaks my heart.

I drive up the drive-way, locking the car before making my way up towards the door. I took a deep breath, praying Clary will be back to normal before knocking on the door.

Not even 5 seconds later, Luke is opening the door looking distressed, and Clary's mom on the couch sobbing.

"She ran away."

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN!  
muaahahahah, im evil i know and im sorry :(  
but please review!**

**i have the next chapter ready in mind, and i knoew exactly what will happen in the next chapter, so please stay tuned :)  
xoxox**


	10. Chapter 10

**Clary`s POV**

The bass of the music vibrated through-out my body as I made my way through the party.

How did I get here? Who knows.

All I remember is yelling at Izzy and her stupid little clique, and being so angry. Then running.

I sat on a bench outside of Taki's for hours it seemed, because next thing I knew it was dark out, with less cars, and the shops all closed.

I remember deciding to start walking, and somehow I ended up here.

The music was loud, teenagers were dancing and swaying, stumbling over each other, some drunk, and some just tipsy.

I walked towards the kitchen, no one bothering to look my way either too occupied making out, or just talking…. Trying to talk.

I was in the kitchen finally, only a few people here. Most of them were just pouring themselves drinks and then leave.

_I'm never going to go away. _I heard Aline's voice echo in my mind.

Some part of me didn't want to believe anything that came out of my mind, but their was always that other part of me that will always remember.

I looked over and saw the bottle of vodka sitting right in front of me, and got an idea.

If I'll always remember, maybe just a few hours I could just drink away the memory.

I quickly poured myself a cup, smelling the alcohol as I bought the red cup up to my lips.

For one second, Jace's face popped into my mind. What would he think? Would he be disappointed in me.

_Why would Jace care? The only thing he wants is to get in your pants. _

_**No, Jace cares about me.**_

_Pleease. That boy couldn't care less about you. Why do you think he's been hanging around you all of a sudden, and never used to before. Simon was the reason, because he knows guys like Jace only want one thing. Now that he's dead, there's nothing in Jace's way. _The voice sneered in my head.

_**No! **_

_Yes._

_**I don't believe you!**_

_Think about it Clary! Why is the school's hottest guy suddenly all over you, when he can have anybody in this whole god damn city! _

_**Shut up!**_

_You know I'm right. _The voice mocked.

Looking at the cup in my hand, I took a deep breath and chugged the alcohol in my cup.

My eyes started watering slightly, as the coughed from the sting of the alcohol. Feeling slightly tipsy already.

I was never the one to drink at a party. Alcohol just wasn't my thing…. I guess until now.

I got myself another cup, this time taking small sips and making way through the crowd into the living room where the music was on full blast, and bodies were mushed together, all sweaty and drunk.

I started swaying to the music, my head rolled back, and my eyes shut closed as I just let the music take over my body, feeling light as my body let the alcohol do its job.

_You can't forget me Clarissa. _Aline's voice said in my head.

I opened my eyes, looking around the room and noticed it was slightly spinning already. I chugged the rest of the alcohol, this time only shuddering, then making my way back towards the kitchen to get myself another drink.

_**Watch me.**_

I poured myself a new cup, and downed that one, ready to get myself another drink before I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, making me flinch and turn around scared.

"Whoa, you better slow down there." said a guy, who must had been eighteen, maybe nineteen. He had dark hair, that swept along his forehead and passed his ears slightly. He had these piercing blue eyes, and reminded me of someone.

I didn't say anything, just stared.

"Do I know you?" the mystery boy asked, cocking his head to the side slightly, crossing his arms across his chest. I just stared at him.

"I'm Alec. Alec Lightwood." he said, sticking his hand out slightly. I just stared at his hand, my hands gripping into fists.

Lightwood. Like Izzy Lightwood. Like Jace's older adopted brother.

"Does your name happen to be Clary?" he asked, snapping my attention back to him. I just glared.

"I'll take that as a yes." he laughed slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, still starring at me,

"You're the one who's made my brother go crazy." he joked, frowning when he noticed I wasn't laughing.

"What are you doing here at a college party? Let alone drinking, and here alone." he said more seriously.

"It's non of your business." I snapped before turning around, and pouring myself a cup of vodka, feeling like it wasn't much, I chugged it quickly, and grabbed the bottle and made my way back towards the music.

Not bothering to look back to see if Alec was still there or not.

_Stupid, stupid girl._

**

* * *

**

Jace's POV

"What do you mean she ran away?" I asked worried, and slightly angry. I took a step into the house and followed Luke into the kitchen where he sat down at the table putting his head between his hands and let out a frustrated sigh.

"The school called saying she missed her third, forth and fifth period. When she didn't come home, we started getting worried. Her mother and I kept calling her cell phone, each time going to her voice mail, until she picked up." he said.

Next thing I knew he hit his hands on the table making a huge bang. I could see how frustrated and angry he was.

"She told us to leave her alone, that she wasn't coming home. Then hung up. We tried calling again, but she turned off her cell phone." he said, both of us listening to Clary's mother let out a sob from the living room.

I felt my phone vibrate, quickly looking to see if it was Clary, but I was disappointed seeing that it was only Alec. I pressed ignored.

"The cops said we can't file a missing person's report until she's been gone 24 hours, and its only been 8." he said frustrated running his hand through his hair.

"Can you think of anywhere of where she might have gone, where she might be?" I asked impatiently. Luke just shook his head.

"What if something happens to her?" Luke asks worriedly, tears falling down his face.

"Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise." I tried to reassure him.

I felt my phone vibrate again, looking at the caller I.D, it was Alec again, probably calling to say Izzy was cooking or something. I pressed the ignore button again.

"She's gone through so much." I heard Clary's mother sob into the phone in the living room, obviously talking to someone on the other end.

"What happened at school Jace?" Luke asked suddenly, his head popped up, and his back more straighter as he stared at me.

"I mean, did anything happen that would make Clary run?" he asked carefully.

"No, I don't think so. I mean, she snapped at Izzy and Danielle, blaming them for Simon's death, and then she just left. I thought she was coming home, being to over-whelmed or something." I said, putting my hand to my head, taking a seat across fro Luke, guilt eating away at me.

"God, I should have followed her." I said, putting my head on the table.

"She's unstable right now. We shouldn't have sent her to school so early." Luke said, putting his hand on my arm trying to reassure me.

Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate again. Sighing, I flipped it open and seeing the picture on the screen it was Alec again.

"You should answer it. It might be important." Luke said giving me a small smile. I just shook my head.

"He's probably just calling to complain about Izzy's cooking." I said, ready to push the ignore button again.

"Well ignoring it, isn't going to make us find Clary faster, so go ahead and answer it, I'm just gonna go for a drive to see if I can find her around the neighbourhood again." Luke said, before grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

I stared at my phone for a few more seconds before answering it.

"What's up?" I answered casually.

"Hey, uh. Do you by any chance happen to be missing a certain red head who goes by the name of Clary?" he asked. My heart stopped.

"Clary? Alec, you know where Clary is?" I asked hurriedly, making my way out the door it a hurry, and towards my car.

"Yea, she's right in front of me, grinding up against these two guys drunk." he said.

I was suddenly furious.

"What the fuck! Where are you?" I shouted into my phone.

"Jason's house, you know the guy on my foot-ball team. I just happened to cross paths with her in the kitchen and she was chugging down some of this vodka shit, then just took the bottle. Next thing I knew, she's being dry humped by these perverts." Alec replied.

"Well get them off of her Alec!"

"Geez, right sorry." he stuttered. I could here him making his way through whatever. The music getting slightly louder on the other end.

"Clary, come on lets go." I heard Alec yell over the music.

"Get off me!" I heard her shout back.

"Look, Jace is on his way here." he answered, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"Tell him to go away." I heard her slur.

"And get the fuck away from me." she added.

A couple seconds passed, and the music wasn't so loud anymore.

"You better get here quick man." Alec said.

"How bad is she Alec?" dreading the answer.

"I've never seen someone so messed up. You must really like her to be able to put up with her." Alec said.

"I love her Alec, and she went through something really traumatic, she watched her best friend murdered in front of her, with his blood and shit getting all over her, not mention got shot herself to." I said angrily into the phone, turning down the street, hearing the music just a few houses down.

"Shit man. That's bad." Alec sighed.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said.

"Dude, hurry. The girls a mess." Alec said before hanging up the phone.

I let out a sigh and pulled up at the house, where people wee hanging off of each other drunk, and laughing.

Before getting out of my car, I felt myself go uneasy.

Like something bad was about to happen, and I didn't like that feeling at all.


	11. Chapter 11

**Jace's POV**

Alec met me at the doors, gesturing me inside, shaking my hand before turning around to show me where Clary was.

"What is she doing here?" Alec asked me, turning his head around slightly to look at me, before turning it back around and walked us through the kitchen.

"I have no clue." I told him honestly. I've been asking myself that question ever since Alec had called.

This wasn't her scene. Never was. I can't possibly understand what was going through that girls head.

Alec walked us into the living room, he gestured towards the center of the room of sweaty teenagers were dancing, each one pushed up against each other in the tight space.

That's when I recognized Clary's red hair. At first I didn't recognize her. Her tiny body was hidden between two big fellows, her back against one, her chest in front of the other.

Both boys had their hands all over her body, grazing her sides, her hair, both taking turns kissing her neck, her shoulder, her hair, while she did absolutely nothing except close her eyes and sway to the music in a drunken haze.

"Clary!" I shouted furiously.

Her eyes then opened and met mine. What made me furious was that she continued to dance with those tools, this time though she brought one of her hands behind her head and wrapped it around the guy behind her neck. While her eyes still on mine.

The boy in front of her then brought his hands up and ran them through her hair, neither of them noticing that she wasn't even paying attention to them, but looking at me. The guys then began to bend his head lowering his lips towards hers.

She sent a crocked smirk towards my way, as the guys mouth got closer, and closer towards her. This made me snap.

I stormed over towards her, her eyes following me as I made got closer to her, making me furious even more.

"Get the fuck off her." I said loudly, causing both guys to look at me. The three of them stopped dancing.

"Who the fuck are you?" The guy who was about to kiss her asked.

"Non of you damn business." I spat at him, before reaching for Clary's hand. She didn't turn around or walk away, just allowed me to gab her, her face lighted in a amused smirk.

"She's not going anywhere." the guy behind her said, reaching out and grabbed her other arm pulling her back.

"Let go of her, or so help me god I will do something you will regret." I said slowly, glaring at his hand who was holding her arm tightly.

He held on for a few seconds longer, before slowly letting her go.

"Whatever." he said before turning around and walking away, followed by the other boy.

I waited until they were both gone before looking at Clary who was still looking at me with an amused smirk.

"Look who came, my knight in shiny armour." she spoke in a taunting voice, her speech slightly slurred meaning she had been drinking.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I spat towards her angrily. She flinched slightly by my words but quickly composed herself and stood up straighter, pulling her arm out of my grasp.

She laughed harshly towards me before turning around and about to walk away.

"Oh no you don't." I say, picking her up by her waist and lifting her over my shoulder.

She didn't protest.

I walked her outside of the house, and towards my car, putting her down when we were close enough.

When we reached my car she stopped walking and looked at me with a mischief glint in her eye that gave me a not so good feeling in my stomach.

* * *

**Clary's POV**

"Get in the car Clary, I'm not in the mood for your bull-shit." he said angrily towards me.

_He's tired of you._ The voice spat towards me.

I walked towards him slowly. Getting as close to him as possible, our chests touching, his breath hitting my face. I brought my hand up and stated tracing his lips, his breath catching slightly.

Jace stood perfectly still in front of me. I could feel his eyes starring intently at me, as I watched as I traced his bottom lip.

"Do you think I'm pretty Jace?" I asked suddenly.

I could tell he was taken back when his body suddenly jerked, and he was looking at me more intently.

"I think your beautiful." he answered. His hand coming up to cup my cheeks, as my finger still touched his lips. My eyes never leaving.

"Do you want me?" I looked up to him, bringing my hand back down, tracing it down his chest resting it on his stomach, feeling his abs through his shirt. His breathing coming out in faster breaths.

"Of course I do." he answered. I smiled sweetly up to him.

_Your nothing to him. _The voice laughed at me.

_**That's not true ! **_I shouted back angrily towards the voices. They just laughed at me some more.

I'll prove them. I'll show them Jace loves me for me, and not just my body.

"Show me." I told him. My voice coming out strong.

He wavered slightly , seeming to think about what to do. But then, very slowly he lowered his head towards mine. His eyes focused on mine, never leaving them as his lips came closer to mine.

I could feel his breath on my face even more now, the smell of apples and coke lingering on my face, as his lips were almost touching mine.

His hands cradled my face as his lips crashed onto mine, a explosion of electricity racing through my body as they moved in sync, like they were made for each other. Like we were made for each other.

I slowly reached around him, opening his car and pushing us inside in the back seat. Both of us falling in, our lips never leaving each others.

I could hear rain drops starting to fall on the window, as we continued to kiss, the sparks never leaving.

Jace pulled back first to breath while I moved my lips down his jaw, down his neck, nipping his collar bone between me teeth earning a small moan to come through his mouth.

"You mean so much to me Clary." he said breathless, pulling my face back so that I was looking at him. Are chests both moving up and down as we tried to catch our breath. I gave him a swarm smile before bending my head back down, connecting our lips once more together. His arms wrapping around my waist, pulling closer to him as we kissed passionately.

I moved my hands down his chest, running them up and down feelings his marvellous abs against my hands, feeling the edge of his shirt, slowly I started lifting it over his head.

He lift his hands up breaking our lips apart for a mere second before re-connecting them when his shirt was discarded to the front of the seat. I then did the same, and threw my shit along with his.

My hands began to travel around his stomach again, loving the feel of his skin against mine. Jace moved his lips from mine and began kissing down my neck, then started sucking and kissing a soft spot between my neck and shoulder earning a small moan from myself.

My hands moved lower until I felt his belt in my hand, and slowly I started unbuckling them. Once they were undone, I started undoing his zipper when suddenly he stopped kissing me, and his hands on mine moving them away.

"No Clary." he said breathless, bringing my hands up onto his chest.

Suddenly I felt cold all over.

"What? Don't you want me?" I asked, moving them back down, but only for him to grab them again and hold them more firmly on his chest.

"I said no." his voice harder.

The rejection stung my whole body, while the voice laughed harder in my head, chanting that he didn't want me.

"You said you wanted me!" I shouted at him angrily, sitting up more trying to move away from him.

"I do!" he shouted back angrily.

"Then why won't you have sex with me? Isn't this what you want?" I asked, moving forward forcing my lips onto his, but only to have him push me back.

_Filthy. _Aline's voice spat at me.

"Your not ready for this yet." he said, running a hand through his hair frustrated.

"So you can sleep around with all the girls on the cheerleading team, but not me? You said I mean so much to you!." I spat at him.

_You know he's only with you because he feel sorry for you. _Aline laughed.

"I don't need your pity!" I shouted at him.

"What are you talking about Clary?" he asked confused.

_He thinks you crazy. He thinks your just like me. A psychotic little helpless girl. _

"Shut up!" I shouted out loud grabbing my head between my hands, trying to block my ears.

"Shut up!"

_First Simon, now Jace. All you have left is me. _She taunted.

**No!**

"Clary! Stop it! Stop!" Jace shouted, grabbing for my hands, but all I could see was Aline's face coming at me.

"Get away from me! Get away!" I shouted, pushing Aline away. She had a twisted smile on her face, and blood all over her clothes.

I was up against the door now, and was trying to push Aline away from me with my feet while trying to reach the door handle.

"Remember me!" she shouted.

"Help! Someone help please!" I begged.

Where did Jace go? Why wasn't he here? He was suppose to save me, he was suppose to be here, not Aline.

"You did this Clary! Everything is your fault!" Aline laughed. Reaching for me one more time, I kicked her in the face, yelling at the top of my lungs, I felt the door handle and opened the door as fast as I could falling out of the car, my bare back hitting the cold pavement. I felt the pain shoot up my spine, but I ignored it and began running down the street.

_You can't hide from me Clary. I will always be here._ She taunted.

"Clary!" I heard someone shout from behind, but I could stop running. I couldn't make me feet stop moving, and I just kept running.

"Clary, stop!"

_**Jace.**_

It was him, he was shouting for me to stop.

Very slowly, I felt my legs start to slow down, feeling weak and wobbly.

Just as I was about to collapse I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me softly down into their lap holding me close to them. I knew it was Jace because I could feel his bare chest against my back, and smell the apples off his breath.

"Make them go away Jace." I cried turning around to stare at him.

"Make them go away, please." I sobbed, begging him to just make the voice leave me alone.

"Make who Clary?" he asked worried, his nose was bleeding, but he didn't seem to care.

He also had scratched on his chest and arms, and small bruises started to form.

"Aline, and the voices. They won't leave me alone." I managed to choke out, just when a round of sobs broke through my chest.

Jace's eyes got bigger before he pulled me tighter in his arms, rocking me back and forth.

Slowly, my eyes began to shut down, and the blackness beginning to take over my vision.

I could feel Jace getting up from the ground and walking towards his car again with me in his arms.

I felt him place me in shot gun, doing my seat-belt then closing my door. Him getting in the other side, the car slightly moving as he sat down, then jumping to life as he put his keys in and began driving me home.

I wanted to tell him I was sorry, that I wasn't crazy.

But all I could manage was to listen to the voices laugh at me, as I drifted off to sleep.

Left with only a few words that will forever haunt me,

_Remember me._

* * *

_**Please Review!  
Let me know what you think, or what might happen next chapter!  
I love reading everyone`s opinions!**_

xoxoxox


	12. Chapter 12

**Jace's POV**

"I'm not crazy." Clary says, making me jump from he sudden voice.

I turn to her and see her with pleading eyes to agree with her. To believe that she truly wasn't crazy.

And I did, but I knew something wasn't right with her. She was broken, and I'm the only one who can fix her.

"I know." I tell her. She doesn't believe me, and brings her knees up to her chest hugging them closer to her body.

"Is something wrong with me Jace?" she asks. My heart clenches at hearing her tiny voice. She sounds so broken, so lost. It just breaks my heart seeing Clary so vulnerable. I wasn't used to this, I was used to the strong -head fireball. The girl who didn't take shit from anyone.

But here she was sitting across the room from me, looking as lost as ever now since her meltdown.

"You've been through a lot Clary. You've been through things not many teenage girls go through." I tell her, trying to jump around her question. She notices it too, but by jumping her question, she figured out my answer.

"I can't sleep." she sighs. Yawning a little, while rubbing her eyes.

I notice the bags under her eyes, more evident on her pale skin. Her eyes droopy as if it took all the strength in her to keep them open.

She was exhausted.

"Nightmares?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She nods her head, confirming what I already knew.

"She's always there." she whispers. Holding her knees tighter, her eyes out of focus now as if she's in her own world.

I guess I should say I was used to this since she did this million of times a day, but every time she would go off in her own little world, it hurt know that she was trying to forget about everything.

After a few minutes of silence, Clary's eyes snap towards mine with worry.

"Am I ever going to get better?" she asked suddenly,.

"Of course you will Clary." I say making my way over to her slowly, careful not to trigger anything. Then sat beside her, feeling the heat of her body next to mine. She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"How do you know?" she asked, her big green eyes starring into mine.

"Because I'm going to make sure of it." I say, leaning over and kissing her forehead lightly, before pulling back and wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer to me, her head lying softly on my chest.

"I want to sleep." she says sounding exhausted, while she yawns. I nod my head against hers, as she wraps her arms around my waist and pull me to her tightly like I was her teddy bear.

"Be here if the nightmares comes?" she asked.

"Anything for you." I said, giving her one last kiss on the forehead before I felt her let the exhaustion overwhelm her, and then fell to sleep.

**Clary's POV**

"_They can't fix you." Aline said sitting across the room from me, sitting on the floor with her legs crossed and her hands held together neatly in her lap. _

_She was clean today, and her hair was done nicely into two braids. She wore a pretty blue dress, with ribbons. No trace of blood anywhere on her._

"_Jace can." I said, conviction and belief evident in my voice as I stood my ground in front of Aline. _

_It seemed that I wasn't as frightened of her now then in my other dreams. But it could possibly have to do with the fact that she wasn't covered in blood, with her psychotic smile she always gave me. She looked normal. _

"_How many times do I have to tell you, he's only with you because he feels guilty." she said, flailing her arms out frustrated, while rolling her eyes._

"_No, he loves me Aline. And I love him. I believe in him, just like he believes in me." I told her, my voice strong as I stood up straighter. Wanting the urge to stomp my feet if it meant that she got the idea that I was right._

"_Life isn't a fairy tail Clary. Get that through your head." she said, standing up now walking slowly towards me._

"_No, but life isn't always a nightmare. Get that through your head." I shot back, crossing my arms trying to hold myself together and not show her how much I regretted those words once they were out of my mouth._

"_You seem braver now Clary. More confident. Tell me, is it because your forgetting all about Simon?" she asked, making me flinch at his name. _

"_Don't tell me you haven't forgotten about Simon now. I mean, he did give up his life to save you, did he not?" she mocked walking in circles around me like a predator would do to his prey._

"_You know, your best friend. The one I shot and killed." she laughed watching as I tried to inch away from her. _

_I turned to run but she grabbed my arm turning me around roughly, her eyes glaring into mine as she held me close to her, her face to close to mine that her nose was almost touching mine._

"_You belong to me. Got that?" she said, spitting slightly in my face at how harshly she said the words. _

"_Me!" she shouted shaking me slightly._

"_No! Just leave me alone! Let me have my life back." I sobbed, begging. I've began to beg for my life back._

"_Your always going to remember me Clary. Even when you think I'm gone, I'll always be there in the back of your mind, always there for you to remember. I'm not going anywhere, I'm with you forever." she said, her eyes going wild as she held onto my arm tighter._

"_I'm fighting back now! I won't let you control my life anymore Aline." I said shaking, tears falling down my face as I tried to pull out of her grasp._

"_Clary, wake up!" I heard someone shout my name._

_Aline started looking around trying to find the source of the voice just like I was trying to do. Her hand still gripped my arm firmly._

"_Jace?" I shouted, pulling my arm free and turning to run._

"_That's right Clary, run back to Mr. Perfect. Just wait until you find out that Mr. Perfect, isn't so perfect and will turn out to be just like I said he was. I'll be here ready to shout 'I told you so' over and over again." she taunted._

"_He's not like that! He loves me!" I shouted furiously, spinning around towards Aline only to find her gone. _

"_Clary! Wake up!" I heard Jace shout._

"Jace?" I asked tiredly, waking up from my sleep.

"Were you having a bad dream, you started moving around a lot, and looked like you were in pain." he asked, worry masked his face. I put my hand to his cheek, loving how after everything he was so concerned and caring about me.

"I'm fine." I told him, half-truthfully.

"She can't hurt you."

"I know." He kissed my palm, before bringing it down to into both his hands, then leaned down to kiss my nose.

That's when I felt a sudden urge to do something.

"Jace, I want to go to Simon's grave."

"What?"


	13. Chapter 13

Song - Skinng Love - Birdy

Lovely song, heard it from Vampire Diaries .

* * *

**_Third Person POV_**

She'd never really been to a funeral before, let alone a grave yard.

Yea so maybe when she was five or something she visited a grave yard once only because her mother was visiting her dead parents, but Clary never really knew them, so she didn't think it counted.

When Jace into the parking lot, Clary had no idea what kind of insane thing influence her to come here in the first place. Maybe it was because she was already insane that maybe being here, she'd feel somewhat normal again.

Her eyes focused on all the grave stones along the hills, her eyes noticing a small path that went around the whole yard.

Jace sat beside her patiently, observing her as she took steady breaths and looking out his front window. He didn't know what made Clary decide to come, because lets be real, she hasn't been very with herself lately, but he's been helping her out.

When she first said that she wanted to see Simon he was set against it. He wouldn't allow it.

It was only because though he though it would be to hard for her, she has so much going on, that visiting her dead best friend shouldn't be added to those problems.

But, after hours of shouting and crying he finally agreed knowing that one day she would have to face this and see him. So he said yes.

Now here they are, sitting in his car.

His hands held the steering wheel firmly as he watched her hands clasp the un-clasp as if contemplating on whether or not she should get out of the car door, or just beg him to turn around and tell him to take her home where she can hide on her bed under the covers and wish the voices away.

But since she's been here, sitting in front of these graves, the voices weren't there, and she felt somewhat better. Almost hopeful.

"If your not ready I can take you back home Clary. You don't have to do this today." Jace said, making her know she had options. That he wasn't forcing her to visit Simon's grave. To be honest, he just wanted to lock his car doors and drive far away out of town with her and never comeback.

"I have to do this." was all she said before opening up her side of the car door open and sliding out carefully.

The cool breeze swept across her face as she started walking on the path that led around the graves, her body slightly cold but otherwise fine.

Her heart was beating rapidly out of her chest as she caught hold of some grave stone that had Simons name on it, but not his last name.

Jace was behind her, watching her carefully as she walked along the path, her arms wrapped protectively around herself as she would tighten her hold whenever there was a slight breeze.

He watched as her body went rigid and stopped in front of a small grave stone with the name of her best friend on it. He watched as she stood there for minutes just starring at it, like she was lost. Then slowly, he watched as she collapsed onto her knees while still holding her arms around herself and stared at the stone blankly.

"I'll give you a few minutes alone." he said softly knowing she had heard him, then turned around when he saw her nod her head once and then he began to walk around hoping that Clary would be okay after all this.

Once Jace was gone Clary's focus was all on the grave stone in front of her. She was now standing over her dead best friends body once again.

She kept reading the words on his grave stone over and over again.

_Simon Lewis_

_1993-2008_

_Beloved son and friend. _

_Will forever be missed. _

Forever be missed.

Clary's heart tightened reading those words over and over again.

He was dead. He was gone, and he was never coming back. Not to his family, not to his friends…. Not to her.

"I'm so sorry." she choked trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I'm so sorry I got you killed Simon."

She rested her hand against the cold stone, welcoming the coldness creep into her palm. She traced the letters with her fingers letting her tears fall silently, repeating the words 'sorry' over and over again.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." she sighed, wiping away the tears.

"You're my best friend, but now your just gone, and I will never get to see you again."

She knew Jace would be back in a few seconds, but that didn't stop her from wanting to just curl up into a ball in front of Simons stone and just die slowly. She knew Jace would never allow it, and she was glad that he cared about her.

She liked that he was always there for her, and hasn't run away calling her crazy and never talk to her again. He's there for her, and he hasn't left.

He hasn't left.

"I think I love him Simon." Clary mumbles to the grave stone looking down at her hands that were picking nervously at each other.

"I think I might love Jace, and that scares me because what if he leaves me? What if something bad happens that forces him to leave me forever. I don't think I could handle loosing him too. I love him."

She looks at the grave again waiting for Simon to pop out from the ground and start lecturing her on how she was being stupid for worrying, but he didn't. She knew that would never happen.

"He believes in me Si. He hasn't lost hope for me, and I want to get better. I want to be the same Clary I was before just for him." she says smiling softly to herself imagining a normal Clary and Jace together.

"I feel something when I with him that I've never felt before. It scares me, but at the same time it thrills me. I feel so empty when he's not near me, and when he is, I feel hope. Like that there's hope that the old Clary will be back again. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but some day."

She could hear Jace's foot-steps now getting closer, so she knew she had to finish up.

"I'll get better Si, you watch. I'll do it for him and I'll do it for you. I'll live for both of us because you deserve that and so much more."

"Clary?" she heard Jace's voice call her. She looked behind her and saw him standing behind her with his hands tucked into his pants and watching her carefully.

She gives him a small smile, and sees his face light up in shock, but then he smiles back and looks relieved.

"Good-bye Simon. I love you, and forever will. You're my best friend and I will never forget you." she said, standing up and placing a small kiss on the cold stone. Closing her eyes for a second as she let her lips linger on it for a second, picturing that the stone was Simons cheek, and his cheeks going rosy as he blushed at the little kiss. But when she pulled back she knew that it was just his stone.

"I won't forget." she said one last time before turning around and walking over to Jace who was watching her carefully.

She grabbed his hand and looked at him, really looked as he looked at her back.

"I love you." she said softly to him. A small breeze flowing between them as they starred at one another.

"I didn't know if I could ever feel again, but you've made me fall in love with you." she said. Speaking to him more then she'd ever before about her feelings.

"I promise I'll get better. I won't let you down." she said strongly, conviction clear in her voice as she stood tall and confident.

Jace smiled softly, nodding his head and bending down a little to catch her lips with his.

They were soft and gentle, and even though it was just a quick peck, it felt like a million years to her.

"I love you too." he told her sincerely.

Both of them now headed back to the car where he will drive he home, and one day closer to recovery.

He believed she could do it.

She believed she could do it too.


End file.
